(no subject)
It's interesting how drawn to live journal I am when there is a lot on my mind, and no one to share it with. But what is more interesting is the long period of silence prior to a couple of weeks ago. The truth of the matter is, much of what I was thinking wasn't written down, anywhere, or communicated, to anyone. I'm inclined to think this approach has much to do with the cause of all my strife. I need to be more vigilant during the upswings of my life. I need to be as in touch with myself as I am at this moment.
Even though I seem to convey much of the same feeling, in different words, I grow as a person every day. I have done more soul searching in the last few weeks than seems possible. I have turned many thoughts into words - words that through the process of being, clarify the thoughts responsible for their inception. With every level of clarity comes a desire to create more words. The cyclic nature of this process has my heart in a feedback loop. A reverberation that pulsates and grows, louder and stronger - often to the brink of destruction. Through a self intervention, the self destruction seems to be prevented, until it begins again, starting with that all familiar pulsing of blood through the veins.
My reflections are hardly all negative. Although they seem to contain a certain level of despair and hopelessness, they are mostly constructed with feelings of vulnerability and purity. I am traveling a path that has allowed me to expose many of my raw internals, components I've been disguising even to myself.
I have high hopes, although there's a chance the outcome of everything will be far different from the one I imagine.
Even though I seem to convey much of the same feeling, in different words, I grow as a person every day. I have done more soul searching in the last few weeks than seems possible. I have turned many thoughts into words - words that through the process of being, clarify the thoughts responsible for their inception. With every level of clarity comes a desire to create more words. The cyclic nature of this process has my heart in a feedback loop. A reverberation that pulsates and grows, louder and stronger - often to the brink of destruction. Through a self intervention, the self destruction seems to be prevented, until it begins again, starting with that all familiar pulsing of blood through the veins.
My reflections are hardly all negative. Although they seem to contain a certain level of despair and hopelessness, they are mostly constructed with feelings of vulnerability and purity. I am traveling a path that has allowed me to expose many of my raw internals, components I've been disguising even to myself.
I have high hopes, although there's a chance the outcome of everything will be far different from the one I imagine.