(no subject)
oh hay guyz, what's up???
it's been a while.
school has been absolutely draining me dry, so don't think it's because i don't like you or anything. i've got one week of this term left and i can't fucking wait.
ok so... hmmm....
i've been meaning to do this for weeks and i keep putting it off... so much that at this point there may be no reason to do it at all... but- oh well. here goes nothing.
for those of you who haven't already heard it from me or through the grapevine:
i'm moving out on my own as of early next month. i'll be living in portland, in student housing, until i can start making enough money to afford my own ramshackle studio apartment.
i'd be lying if i said this has nothing to do with my relationship with luke. it has a lot to do with it... but not everything. long story short- it's not where i want to be, at least not right now. i love luke to death, but i need to be my own woman.
i've been taking a long hard look at my adult life and realize that i've spent none of it as an actual adult. i've been dependent on luke almost the entire time. i know he'd be willing to support me for the rest of my life... but as a woman, and an artist, and a feminist i just can't allow that. i need to be independent. i need to feel what it's actually like to be twenty-two. i need to go out, be crazy, and make mistakes while i'm still young and hot.
so i guess that means no wedding like i'd planned. jesus. i just looked it up and it's only been six months since we decided to get married. i guess it's better to deal with this now than at the altar. i'm certain none of you would want to be the one stuck with trying to drag my ass back from crawling out the dressing room window.
luke's doing ok. from what i can tell he's kind of in the same place i am, and looking forward to having a bachelor pad all to himself.
so i know this is a totally fucked thing of me to do. and if any of you are pissed, i understand. but also realize that i've already beat the shit out of myself over this, so if you could go easy on me, i'd appreciate it.
i expected this entry to be a lot longer than it actually is. i guess there's not as much to say as i thought.
questions?
it's been a while.
school has been absolutely draining me dry, so don't think it's because i don't like you or anything. i've got one week of this term left and i can't fucking wait.
ok so... hmmm....
i've been meaning to do this for weeks and i keep putting it off... so much that at this point there may be no reason to do it at all... but- oh well. here goes nothing.
for those of you who haven't already heard it from me or through the grapevine:
i'm moving out on my own as of early next month. i'll be living in portland, in student housing, until i can start making enough money to afford my own ramshackle studio apartment.
i'd be lying if i said this has nothing to do with my relationship with luke. it has a lot to do with it... but not everything. long story short- it's not where i want to be, at least not right now. i love luke to death, but i need to be my own woman.
i've been taking a long hard look at my adult life and realize that i've spent none of it as an actual adult. i've been dependent on luke almost the entire time. i know he'd be willing to support me for the rest of my life... but as a woman, and an artist, and a feminist i just can't allow that. i need to be independent. i need to feel what it's actually like to be twenty-two. i need to go out, be crazy, and make mistakes while i'm still young and hot.
so i guess that means no wedding like i'd planned. jesus. i just looked it up and it's only been six months since we decided to get married. i guess it's better to deal with this now than at the altar. i'm certain none of you would want to be the one stuck with trying to drag my ass back from crawling out the dressing room window.
luke's doing ok. from what i can tell he's kind of in the same place i am, and looking forward to having a bachelor pad all to himself.
so i know this is a totally fucked thing of me to do. and if any of you are pissed, i understand. but also realize that i've already beat the shit out of myself over this, so if you could go easy on me, i'd appreciate it.
i expected this entry to be a lot longer than it actually is. i guess there's not as much to say as i thought.
questions?