On how coffee should be:
When some people make coffee, they talk about making coffee that "has teeth." If you consider this for a second, it's an interesting metaphor. After all, lots of things have teeth: cows and sheep, for instance... vegans... zippers... among other things, of course. The thing is that having teeth is neither correlation nor causation for a thing being very strong or very mean. Consider octopi, for instance, which are sometimes highly venomous, but most assuredly lacking teeth. Or falcons, for that matter, which also are toothless. I don't mean to suggest that "with teeth" is not a clear description of the intensity of a particular cup of coffee, but I do point out that a more accurate analogy might involve the coffee being usable as fuel for turbine engines. Or having a big pair of b- uh, the point. Right.
When I make coffee, I do my best to cater to the needs of whomever ordered it. So, if someone asks me to leave room for cream, I leave room for cream, and I'm more than willing to top off if I left them too much space. If someone asks me to omit foam on a latte, I grudgingly do, despite the affront that it delivers. Even if the reason for no foam is "you get less in your cup with all that stuff on top." I may be serving a tool, but I'm a professional, dammit. I'll do it right on principle. If I sense that someone needs to wake up or to stay awake... well, that's where the "with teeth" discussion comes into play. I'm a pilot, and I'm a sailor. I'm descended from Vikings and naval officers. Moreover, I've experienced the limit of human tolerance of strong coffee, and I'm proud to say that I learned two things from it. One, just how strong coffee can actually be... and two, just how much I actually can vomit in the course of one night. When I make coffee the way my instincts naturally tell me to make coffee, it most definitely has teeth. And a switchblade. And a reeeeeeeally rough childhood.
If your first words aren't "HOLY FUCKING SHIT!" then it's not strong enough.
-The Proprietor
When I make coffee, I do my best to cater to the needs of whomever ordered it. So, if someone asks me to leave room for cream, I leave room for cream, and I'm more than willing to top off if I left them too much space. If someone asks me to omit foam on a latte, I grudgingly do, despite the affront that it delivers. Even if the reason for no foam is "you get less in your cup with all that stuff on top." I may be serving a tool, but I'm a professional, dammit. I'll do it right on principle. If I sense that someone needs to wake up or to stay awake... well, that's where the "with teeth" discussion comes into play. I'm a pilot, and I'm a sailor. I'm descended from Vikings and naval officers. Moreover, I've experienced the limit of human tolerance of strong coffee, and I'm proud to say that I learned two things from it. One, just how strong coffee can actually be... and two, just how much I actually can vomit in the course of one night. When I make coffee the way my instincts naturally tell me to make coffee, it most definitely has teeth. And a switchblade. And a reeeeeeeally rough childhood.
If your first words aren't "HOLY FUCKING SHIT!" then it's not strong enough.
-The Proprietor