(no subject)

[jetpacking]

i know i said a long, long time ago that i wasn't bitter anymore and ready to start over but it's only now that i can say it and mean it. i can care about other people now, even if i don't have the energy to be consistent, i can care about stuff that isn't me. i feel ready to move on for real this time. i'm ready to start over! if i get sad again i will know what is going on and what to do to help myself, so i'm not scared. i still have no idea why i am here on this earth and i don't have anything to live for but it's okay, i'm empty so i can be filled up. right? c: anyways, i'm gonna start by searching for a little part time job i guess... u g h bc this place gives me anxiety since apparently everyone knows me and talks about me behind my back??? but i gotta start somewhere so.

there's still the little problem of my fucked up sleeping (i am no longer an insomniac but in exchange i now sleep from 4am to 5pm and am awake during the night and lol, i'm so beyond giving up) but whatever