I think it's about time for another one...
So I haven't updated in a really long time, I know. But hey, I've been busy. I graduate in 11 days...that's a little bit scary. And the worst part is that I don't have a job lined up yet. Everyone keeps telling me it's not that big of a deal, but the only one of my good friends graduating is DeeDee and she has an awesome job at Target, and I guess she's the only one I'm comparing myself to. It's never a good thing to compare myself to her. Well, it's really not a good thing to compare myself to anyone...we're all different people and one person or another is always going to make us look bad...right? So I have two papers to write in the next week and now that it's crunch time, everyone wants to hang out. I don't have time! I know it sounds horrible that I'm not making time for my friends, but at this point graduation is what's most important. Wow, that still sounds awful!
In other news, I told Mike that I can't keep up with what we're doing. I want more than just sex, and he doesn't, and I knew pretty much from the get-go. He says it wouldn't be fair to a girl because they want you to be there for them and he doesn't talk to anyone when he's gone for work and he can be gone for a few months at a time. So, that's fair. At least he was honest...or seemingly honest. I think in this case, if it wasn't the truth, I think I'd rather not know. I know I was a piece of ass, and I was okay with that for a time, but now I realize that I deserve more. You hear me? I deserve more! That's quite the revelation for me, after a year and a half of this bullshit. So I feel kind of sad, but also strangely at peace right now. I cried after I talked to him...I'm not sure why.
A kid that I used to work with, and who went to Jefferson, passed away last week. He was only 19...just graduated last year. That's so sad! So I'm going to the wake tonight, and the funeral tomorrow. I'm going to the funeral for Katie J's sake, not my own...I didn't know him that well but she's distraught so I'm going so that I can be there for her. She's been here for me through a lot of shit, so I figure I owe her the same. That's what friends are for...consoling each other through the good and the bad. Well, I should really get going.
Remember to cherish the time you spend with those you love!
In other news, I told Mike that I can't keep up with what we're doing. I want more than just sex, and he doesn't, and I knew pretty much from the get-go. He says it wouldn't be fair to a girl because they want you to be there for them and he doesn't talk to anyone when he's gone for work and he can be gone for a few months at a time. So, that's fair. At least he was honest...or seemingly honest. I think in this case, if it wasn't the truth, I think I'd rather not know. I know I was a piece of ass, and I was okay with that for a time, but now I realize that I deserve more. You hear me? I deserve more! That's quite the revelation for me, after a year and a half of this bullshit. So I feel kind of sad, but also strangely at peace right now. I cried after I talked to him...I'm not sure why.
A kid that I used to work with, and who went to Jefferson, passed away last week. He was only 19...just graduated last year. That's so sad! So I'm going to the wake tonight, and the funeral tomorrow. I'm going to the funeral for Katie J's sake, not my own...I didn't know him that well but she's distraught so I'm going so that I can be there for her. She's been here for me through a lot of shit, so I figure I owe her the same. That's what friends are for...consoling each other through the good and the bad. Well, I should really get going.
Remember to cherish the time you spend with those you love!