(no subject)
today was...odd.
it started out very sad. lots of tears. lots of weirdness. lots of dread. lots of confusion. lots of what if? questions flying through my mind. lots of worries. lots of avoided eyecontact out of bright skys and sad feelings. oh yeah, and a very yummy sandwich.
then work was...hectic. lots of carts. lots and lots of carts. insane amount of carts. lots of drama. one bad box cutter. lots of carts. one very nice security guard who wants to "discuss literature" with me. not too much money in my first pay check ever, but i only worked 8 hours last week. next week will be better because i worked 17 this week. then the next week will be even better because im working 21 hours.
then worked ended. a pleasant surprise in the parking lot. nice warm and very missed chai. a long comforting hug. lots of nice kisses. a big turn around. everything from this morning just kinda disappearing and a bit of pretending that it never happened. that was just in my head though. i know it happened, but when im happy i feel like ive always been happy. when im sad, i feel like ive always been sad. i need to find a nice, realistic medium.
things will be okay. nothing is perfect. so, of course, this cannot be perfect. but when its good, it is good, so its all good...right? right.
things will be okay.
it started out very sad. lots of tears. lots of weirdness. lots of dread. lots of confusion. lots of what if? questions flying through my mind. lots of worries. lots of avoided eyecontact out of bright skys and sad feelings. oh yeah, and a very yummy sandwich.
then work was...hectic. lots of carts. lots and lots of carts. insane amount of carts. lots of drama. one bad box cutter. lots of carts. one very nice security guard who wants to "discuss literature" with me. not too much money in my first pay check ever, but i only worked 8 hours last week. next week will be better because i worked 17 this week. then the next week will be even better because im working 21 hours.
then worked ended. a pleasant surprise in the parking lot. nice warm and very missed chai. a long comforting hug. lots of nice kisses. a big turn around. everything from this morning just kinda disappearing and a bit of pretending that it never happened. that was just in my head though. i know it happened, but when im happy i feel like ive always been happy. when im sad, i feel like ive always been sad. i need to find a nice, realistic medium.
things will be okay. nothing is perfect. so, of course, this cannot be perfect. but when its good, it is good, so its all good...right? right.
things will be okay.