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It was Laney's birthday yesturday. She is 3. I called to wish her a happy birthday and i got the answering machine. so i sang the birthday song to her. then i called later and mom wouldn't let me talk to her. i was sad. my mom hates me because i don't have job yet. i wonder if she'll love me when i get one. i think i haven't tried really hard to
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brittany loves you, and you know that...you guys were like bessttt friends until your senior year, and you moving on was probubly harder for her to take then anything..she knew you better then any of us, and when you see someone change that quickly and that extreme it's not easy to get over..she was scared...and she was mean because she loved you..and you were mean because you knew she was right...and in the end stubborness took over...honestly you both just need to get over it..stop wasting your time being sad about it, if your gonna contemplate anything try and figure out how you can make things right again...you've tried about as hard as she has...which isn't a hell of a lot...if neither of you forgive then theres never gonna be a resolution...don't wait for her to do it first
laney see's what everyone else is blind to...she she's the simpleness...she see's that forgivness is an automatic thing, because if someone cares enough to aplogize then theres no reason to drag it on further...shes see's that happiness is the easiest thing to acheive when its what you want, and love is the easiest thing to give away...she loves you because you will dance with her..because you will color on her and make her a mermaid..because you spin her around in the blanket until shes so dizzy she can't walk...she loves you because even though you threaten to put her in the dungeon when shes bad, you never go through with it...because you fix her when she's hurt, and you cuddle her when she's sad...because she doesn't take the time to remember if you made her upset because without thinking she's knows you made it up to her somehow...she loves you because you make her happy.....she was never TAUGHT to scream her lungs out every time you walked out of the house...she was never TAUGHT to squirm out of someone elses arms so she could get to you...she was never TAUGHT to attack me because i was "hurting her Jesse"...you can't TEACH someone to love...she's loves because she wants to
if anything, look at things through laney's eyes
i remember one time i came over to your house and i had been bawling my eyes out..my cheeks we're red and my eyes were blood shot and i walked in to you and laney sitting on the floor...so i sat down and laney just stared at me for like 3 minutes...finnally she walked over to me and said "you sad huh?" and i said "yeah im sad laney", she said "yeah you be okay k? you want to color?!? you color and you be happy with me and jesse k?" then she walked over and got me markers and showed me the coloring books right behind me...and amazingly she made me feel so much better
sometimes what we want is easier to get then we think...we just get scared off...when you go home, make sure one of the first things you do is give you dad a hug..and maybe even talk to him...then take brittany out and go steal a grocery cart or take her to a show, let her know that even tho last year could not have gone worse you still love her because the good times will always over rule the bad...i've seen them all try to talk to you and you shrug them off and avoid contanct because that this point, that kind of relationship is out of your comfort zone...how can they know you want things to be different if you show them exactly what they show you?
i hope you try...i reallly reallly hope you try
LOVE!
me
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