Deep blue funk
Okay so, check it out.. the past few days, i been in this funk right? Just.. irratible, edgey, snapping at people. Part of it was probably my inabaility to get any sleep over three hours in a night. A big part of it was about a friend. Fortunatly, both those have passed. Another part of it was/is missing ashley. I dont thin i'll be making it to her graduation this friday but we'll see.
Anyway. i seem to be mostly past it now.
I, however feel like the biggest asshole in the world becaus the last few letter to ashley have been.. bad.. i've been upset, and depressed.. and unable to support her in her time of needing bigtime support. I feel.. low.. and unworthy. And there's this crazy notion in my head that she's resenting me right now.. and it's driving me crazy.. i know she loves me.. i know how she feels, and what she thinks.. but i still can't help but feel that she's at LEAST really really annoyed with me.. i mean.. i'd be kinda peeved too.. and the last phone call i got, she was awefully quiet.. which is saying something because we only had ten minutes...granted.. it was 4:45 in the morning here and the phone woke me out of a pretty deep sleep (you should have seen me HOP out of bed to get that damn phone XD). Hopefully she gets to call next week like she thinks.. I need to give her the info i found about goin out there. (like how much it'd cost) and so i can also tell her i'm sorry.. *sighs* i miss her..
I could use a hug. *sigh*
Anyway. i seem to be mostly past it now.
I, however feel like the biggest asshole in the world becaus the last few letter to ashley have been.. bad.. i've been upset, and depressed.. and unable to support her in her time of needing bigtime support. I feel.. low.. and unworthy. And there's this crazy notion in my head that she's resenting me right now.. and it's driving me crazy.. i know she loves me.. i know how she feels, and what she thinks.. but i still can't help but feel that she's at LEAST really really annoyed with me.. i mean.. i'd be kinda peeved too.. and the last phone call i got, she was awefully quiet.. which is saying something because we only had ten minutes...granted.. it was 4:45 in the morning here and the phone woke me out of a pretty deep sleep (you should have seen me HOP out of bed to get that damn phone XD). Hopefully she gets to call next week like she thinks.. I need to give her the info i found about goin out there. (like how much it'd cost) and so i can also tell her i'm sorry.. *sighs* i miss her..
I could use a hug. *sigh*