Progression: Instrumental
Title: Progression: The Instrumental
Fandom: Super Generation!
Characters/Pairing: Leeteuk/Taeyeon
Genre: Romance
Rating: PG for implied themes.
Word Count: 884
Summary: The progression of his fall into her. Part 3.5 of 4.
A/N: Inspired by the detective work conducted by netizens. This is half of a part, because I wasn't really planning on writing this but I felt the story flowed better with this. Rather like the instrumental or a middle eight to a song really. My titles. They're so inventive. Plus I'm so sorry for leaving this fic hanging, but now that school's over for me I finally have time to start posting more regularly. Which means you're going to be seeing fic based on news from like, a year ago, but at least they're being posted right?
She's avoiding him.
It's been at least two weeks now and he hasn't seen hide nor hair of her. Not in the corridors, not in the practice rooms, not anywhere. But he hears her voice sometimes, the strains of her song or her conversation, the sweet scent of her lingering in the hallways and that makes it all the more excruciating. She's there, he can feel her there, but she's going out of her way to avoid him.
Goddammit.
He swore he'd seen all of the signs. Could have sworn that she was melting, soft and willing in his arms, that she had been smiling. There was that sparkle in her eyes, that rosy flush in her cheeks and that smile, that heart wrenching upturn of her sweet lips and after all these years there was no way he could possibly have misread her. He knew her. Knew her to the depths of his own soul, knew her to the point where he felt like he could predict her emotions just from the way she walked.
Had it just been delusion? Had he simply imagined the way she would look at him, how she would blush and not be able to meet his eyes? Had he fooled himself into thinking that her words of fondness were real?
This is killing him.
It's not like he hadn't gone this length of time without seeing her before. What with schedules and tours and everything else he's gone months at a time with only a second's glimpse of her familiar silhouetted figure in the hallways. But she'd never stayed so conspicuously and obviously away from him. Knowing that he is the reason why she is doing this to him hurts more than he could ever describe. He had ruined it. For him. For her. For them. He had ruined any chance he could have had with her and that was all his fault.
He should have known better. Should have known that she would have run. Should have known that she would not accept him. Should have known that she probably felt nothing more towards him than proper sisterly feelings of affection. Old insecurities and vulnerabilities rise up from his stomach and burn in his throat, long suppressed fears of just not being good enough dissolving the strength in his body.
If she only knew the power she had over him. Yes it wasn't like his entire life was devoted to her - though his actions and his daydreaming may prove contrary - it was more like it lost most of its colour when she wasn't there. But when she was there... He felt like he lived on the sight of her smile, breathed on the air of her voice and her laughter. She made it impossible for him to concentrate at times, and yet also kept him unbearably focused on everything that was happening around them.
She anchored him, reminded him about why he needed to be down to earth and not change into that desperate for attention and approval person he could be.
God he needed her.
---
She's avoiding him.
It's been at least two weeks now and yet she still feels every day of separation like a stab to her gut. It is not in her nature to do this, to intentionally take another route to a class, or to duck into a practice room when she feels him coming down a corridor. She's not used to so obviously avoiding people and to intentionally go out of her way to stay out of someone else's. And while she makes sure he does not see her, that does not mean she does not see him.
And he's looking awful lately.
She'd known he had always been susceptible to being ill far more often than anyone else but the paleness of his skin, how skinny he's becoming is beginning to worry her. Every day she steals glances at him and every day she feels that pang at just how tired he's looking. How hollow his cheeks are getting. How his eyes and his smile are becoming less luminous. And she knows that's because of her.
It would have been so much easier if she'd never been attracted to him in the first place. So much simpler. And yet now, even in the midst of all this painful confusion she doesn't regret anything. She doesn't regret any of the conversations or any of the secret meetings.
And oh, she doesn't regret anything about what happened two weeks ago.
She can't deny it. She couldn't deny it even if the CEO of SM Entertainment himself asked her. But the way it had felt when his hands were on her skin, when his body had been molded against hers was nothing short of ecstasy. The look in his eyes was something she knew she'd never forget. And his kiss-
Her first.
He had been so gentle. So slow. All her fears of the potential awkwardness and her own clumsiness had been stroked away by his every soft caress. The taste of him was unforgettable, the memory of what had happened making her ache for more.
Yet she had run. Like a fool. Like an idiot without even explaining why. And she knew that he would be blaming himself, that he would be berating himself for her running away from him.
He probably was now. Scolding and no doubt insulting himself over and over in his head, as she had heard him do out loud on so many occasions. Placing the fault only on himself, as he'd always done.
Oh God.
She needed to find him.