Happy Chernobyl Day!
The chernobyl incident is now old enough to drink in the United States.
However it is not all fun and cake, for this anniversary also teaches us a brutal lesson about life and tampering with nature...
And that lesson is that there is never going to be a zombie apocalypse.
The city of Chernobyl will never turn into a sickly alien landscape infested with grotesque afronts to nature and god that prey on human flesh.
Advanced alien invaders are far more likely to destroy us through subtle machinations or orbital bombardment then fighting us "mano e giant warmachine with heatray that has a weakness to germs".
There is no Nazi UFO base in the arctic.
Sasquatch was some guy dressed in a geurilla suit.
The homeless guy on 12th and Madison never worked for the CIA.
Elvis died.
Yes. Despite all the hopes and dreams of anyone and everyone who has every dreamed of somethig really bad yet pretty cool happening: nuclear apocalypse, zombie plague, alien invasion, mutant invasion, robot rebellion
Instead, reality has reared it's homely head and left us with an inadvertant wildlife preserve and kids with cancer.
Anyways, in case you're wondering, the moral of the story is that God is a boring jerk and you'll never be able to band together with a small group of your best friends and travel across a barren (barren aside from the plentiful amunition of course) landscape fighting heavily armed bandits, cultists, zombies, and mutants (and/or any combination there-of) only to finally be done in by those same friends and their psychological weaknesses realizing ultimately some deep but superfluous lesson about how much humanity sucks.
Happy Birthday Chernobyl incident.
Man...
However it is not all fun and cake, for this anniversary also teaches us a brutal lesson about life and tampering with nature...
And that lesson is that there is never going to be a zombie apocalypse.
The city of Chernobyl will never turn into a sickly alien landscape infested with grotesque afronts to nature and god that prey on human flesh.
Advanced alien invaders are far more likely to destroy us through subtle machinations or orbital bombardment then fighting us "mano e giant warmachine with heatray that has a weakness to germs".
There is no Nazi UFO base in the arctic.
Sasquatch was some guy dressed in a geurilla suit.
The homeless guy on 12th and Madison never worked for the CIA.
Elvis died.
Yes. Despite all the hopes and dreams of anyone and everyone who has every dreamed of somethig really bad yet pretty cool happening: nuclear apocalypse, zombie plague, alien invasion, mutant invasion, robot rebellion
Instead, reality has reared it's homely head and left us with an inadvertant wildlife preserve and kids with cancer.
Anyways, in case you're wondering, the moral of the story is that God is a boring jerk and you'll never be able to band together with a small group of your best friends and travel across a barren (barren aside from the plentiful amunition of course) landscape fighting heavily armed bandits, cultists, zombies, and mutants (and/or any combination there-of) only to finally be done in by those same friends and their psychological weaknesses realizing ultimately some deep but superfluous lesson about how much humanity sucks.
Happy Birthday Chernobyl incident.
Man...