Lonely?

[jesussavesdr]

At some time in life we feel so lost, alone, scared and humble. We feel that God has put us here in this time with no support, light, or someone to talk to. Well that kinda describes what my world is like at this present time in UNC Charlotte. I am at a standstill, i don't see anymore light coming from over the horizon. There is no one here to talk to and cling to in times of distress. I eat alone, come to a lonely dorm, and walk alone, physically. Somehow God's presence still surrounds me, but questions has begun to fill my soul. Why am i questioning God? Why do i feel that i don't have courage to continue through this tunnel in my life? Why do i feel so out of place, and why do i continue to walk alone through this transition? Why don't people accept one another for who they are? Why does it feel that everyone else has already established themselves here, and i'm the outcast in the middle of the cafeteria that everyone asks who the new kid is? Why did my God send me here, what is my purpose and why UNC Charlotte? I have been a NC State fan for years and had planned on going there but my path was turned around and sent me here. I'm scared, lost, confused, and lonely. I go to the library and sit down in a chair around other's but they leave, i sit down in the cafeteria among the other people and try to talk to them but they don't respond or with little reply. I go to class and interact with others but only inside the class, outside is a different world. I have missed something, something big. There is something i am lacking or maybe it hasn't came yet, but I don't seem to fit in with this crowd. I eat, sleep, and walk alone on this massive campus full of people. I am the ghost that walks the sidewalk and the outcast in the cafeteria. Why God? I know God has a reason for this silence i have been given. I have to admit that the last 8 weeks has been filled with a hectic schedule, from Florida to the Mountains of NC, to Tennessee to Charlotte, it has been filled with the world. I have tried to give God my all, but sometimes it became so packed this summer I totally missed all the chances to spend time with Him. For whoever is reading please say me a prayer, i am at the most humbled state at this moment. I don't know what God is trying to teach me, and I may never know. I want to thank God for the two friends who have kept my eyes on Christ, Joel and Tim. They are awesome, i have talked about them in my Lj's plenty to introduce them. I pray that they don't go through this tunnel, and that they will continue to live for the Lord. There spirit filled words continue to encourage me in this life I live. I'm asking for prayer, I need guidance, discipline, and courage to continue through this time. I don't want to look on this as a negative impact on my life but a positive. ~Find me in the river~ I pray that everyone has a safe and blessed summer, and may God bring you many more people to know in the Fall.

God Bless,

Darren