so silence fills the journal
Yeah,
Things have been kinda bummed around here, not really a good week. I had a long time to think about things and sometimes that may be good and other times, may be bad. Well it's just again i'm finally realizing some things about me and other people. It just don't seem fair, you give give and give some more but it never seems to be enough. I don't seem how to understand a real friendship, i'm pretty good at trying to buy one, but that means i just don't have one with no money. Or i'm just tired of paying people..... it's like inflated prices, except it's inflated friendships. I can't keep up, people that you really think are your friends in person, really end up being your worst enemy. Time only reveals the true person they may be, and to think it would be in a close setting you interact with, really devastates you. It really don't matter, what i feel, or anyone else does because that won't change things. To think that someone could just betray you and treat you like dirt on the doorstep. People have no idea of a friendship, or even why they should have one. It's all about "themselves" what they can get out of you and when you stop giving they stop being the friend. They take off and run for the woods, scared that the word might get out and hurt them in the next victim they con into being their friend. I have lived a world of con people, make me think they are a friend and in the end after time reveals them, it's my money, reputation, and pride that they feast on. This journal entry is quite and might have some truth, for those who read i encourage you to look back over your friendships and see if you have to buy your friends? I neglect the maintenance of doing so, therefore resulting a harsh and brutal realization. They use me and have already dissed me before i even know it. They use religion, morals, and values to justify their doings, and it seems to me it just don't add up. Is this what they did to Jesus? Does anyone else have this same issue? How did u handel it? Why can't all the rest of my friends be like my brothers> Joel and Tim, they don't want my money but my friendship, willingness to be around them and the heart/compassion to know they are accepted in my life for who they are, and nothing will change that! -Darren.
Things have been kinda bummed around here, not really a good week. I had a long time to think about things and sometimes that may be good and other times, may be bad. Well it's just again i'm finally realizing some things about me and other people. It just don't seem fair, you give give and give some more but it never seems to be enough. I don't seem how to understand a real friendship, i'm pretty good at trying to buy one, but that means i just don't have one with no money. Or i'm just tired of paying people..... it's like inflated prices, except it's inflated friendships. I can't keep up, people that you really think are your friends in person, really end up being your worst enemy. Time only reveals the true person they may be, and to think it would be in a close setting you interact with, really devastates you. It really don't matter, what i feel, or anyone else does because that won't change things. To think that someone could just betray you and treat you like dirt on the doorstep. People have no idea of a friendship, or even why they should have one. It's all about "themselves" what they can get out of you and when you stop giving they stop being the friend. They take off and run for the woods, scared that the word might get out and hurt them in the next victim they con into being their friend. I have lived a world of con people, make me think they are a friend and in the end after time reveals them, it's my money, reputation, and pride that they feast on. This journal entry is quite and might have some truth, for those who read i encourage you to look back over your friendships and see if you have to buy your friends? I neglect the maintenance of doing so, therefore resulting a harsh and brutal realization. They use me and have already dissed me before i even know it. They use religion, morals, and values to justify their doings, and it seems to me it just don't add up. Is this what they did to Jesus? Does anyone else have this same issue? How did u handel it? Why can't all the rest of my friends be like my brothers> Joel and Tim, they don't want my money but my friendship, willingness to be around them and the heart/compassion to know they are accepted in my life for who they are, and nothing will change that! -Darren.