a taste of my brain these days...
the prettiest lil butterfly i ever did see..
Time, wow its going so quickly, it runs like water between my hands, smoothly and without much effort, i turn around to see the river of my life flowing out from behind me. I am somewhat satisfied as to how it looks. I suppose we all would do things differently always yet, i can not change it. I know i wouldnt be the same person without going through the things i have been through.
I am quite lonely out here. its hard. i think God is trying to be my friend in this time. i just wish he would put on some skin and go out to coffee with me. whats funny is we ask for that so much but i think thats the point, we are jesus wrapped up in skin now, we are extensions of Him. very interesting. but we are also supposed to learn to be friends with Him too.
i am a bit busy these days but the last 2 or 3 i have felt terribly apathetic. and lazy, very lazy. im getting stuff done around the base but personally, i just dont care right now. its kinda weird. yuck.
i am changing and it feels uncomfortable. i wonder if God has in mind more time out here in oz land sometimes. recently, ive thought that i wouldnt mind stickin around for a while. Its akward to think that like im growing up and this may be my life, like what used to be at home in Georgia isnt what its like now and when i go back, its not going to be like when i left the first time, its going to be like, im on the road of life and im grown up and everybody else has their own lives.
i think i just need some refreshing, i feel a little stale, a little apathetic, a lot lonely, i know i am learning a lot.
i used to serve out of insecurity and low self esteem, now that God has worked on that, Hes trying to teach me to be a servant...man..wow..its hard.
i feel i am in that time where my relationship with God is a little like 3 feet of mud, just one foot in front of the other, and repeat. I think thats ok. i suppose its better than sitting in the mud.
Sermons dont really stir me up anymore. Not many do anyways, i am always refreshed by Kris McDaniels words, and some random speakers i hear out here.
i asked God to speak to me before i left australia to come home what was next for me.... i am very interested to see what He has up His sleeve.