some letters...because i saw someone else did this once, and i thought "hey thats kinda cool"
dear god,
im upset with you, i thought you said you wanted to give me good things, i thought that was home and i thought you said it was home, i must have been wrong, i am deeply dissapointed although im trying to suck it up, i am mad, thanks for being able to handle me being mad at you. i dont understand you sometimes and it frustrates me. this hurts so bad, when will it stop, when will you intervene, when?
dear family,
i cant save you although ive tried for a long time, i think i still accidently bear responsibility for you without meaning to. dear dad, you need to get back under control, mom took out a restraining order on you and she should have because you are acting like a crazy stalker without the threats or the physical abuse. whats wrong with you, you used to be the stable one in the family, the rock, now you are the one losing control and that shocks and crushes me.you need to know god and you need to humble yourself and let him love you and break you. dear mom, it blesses me to see you growing in god, i hope that this doesnt shake you too much, keep standing strong and letting god into heal you. im glad god is restoring our relationship and giving us back "what the locusts have eaten" without god it would have been impossible, but with him, he is doing such a beautiful thing. dear jarrad, im sorry i took out the abusiveness that my mom was to me so many years ago, i had to have a outlet for the criticalness of her, it just shouldnt have been you, im sorry for leaving you in that thunderstorm of a hell-hole we call home, and im sorry that youve had to go through so much. i hope you let god in and that he heals you so you dont become the screwed up kid and adult i should have been if it hadnt been for god. please open your heart to him, hes the only one thats going to be able to repair you and your heart after going through all this.
dear friends,
i love you, im not sure i would have made it through those hellacious years in my life if you hadnt been around, if you hadnt stuck through it with me, you will never ever know how much you guys mean to me and what you did for me.
dear airlines,
i hate your expensive tickets, i hate how you dont have any seats for me, i hate how the ones you do cost me my leg, my arm, and my firstborn child.
dear heart,
you will recover one day. dont let this crush you, fall on jesus, and hope in him, you know that he knows best, i know it hurts but hold on, hes there for you. dont turn away and be numb, let it hurt, everything, the restraining order that your mom put on your dad today, the lack of tickets, everything. and for those other paralyzed parts of your heart that got crushed so bad over and over, they just became numb, one day you'll have feeling again...one day.
im upset with you, i thought you said you wanted to give me good things, i thought that was home and i thought you said it was home, i must have been wrong, i am deeply dissapointed although im trying to suck it up, i am mad, thanks for being able to handle me being mad at you. i dont understand you sometimes and it frustrates me. this hurts so bad, when will it stop, when will you intervene, when?
dear family,
i cant save you although ive tried for a long time, i think i still accidently bear responsibility for you without meaning to. dear dad, you need to get back under control, mom took out a restraining order on you and she should have because you are acting like a crazy stalker without the threats or the physical abuse. whats wrong with you, you used to be the stable one in the family, the rock, now you are the one losing control and that shocks and crushes me.you need to know god and you need to humble yourself and let him love you and break you. dear mom, it blesses me to see you growing in god, i hope that this doesnt shake you too much, keep standing strong and letting god into heal you. im glad god is restoring our relationship and giving us back "what the locusts have eaten" without god it would have been impossible, but with him, he is doing such a beautiful thing. dear jarrad, im sorry i took out the abusiveness that my mom was to me so many years ago, i had to have a outlet for the criticalness of her, it just shouldnt have been you, im sorry for leaving you in that thunderstorm of a hell-hole we call home, and im sorry that youve had to go through so much. i hope you let god in and that he heals you so you dont become the screwed up kid and adult i should have been if it hadnt been for god. please open your heart to him, hes the only one thats going to be able to repair you and your heart after going through all this.
dear friends,
i love you, im not sure i would have made it through those hellacious years in my life if you hadnt been around, if you hadnt stuck through it with me, you will never ever know how much you guys mean to me and what you did for me.
dear airlines,
i hate your expensive tickets, i hate how you dont have any seats for me, i hate how the ones you do cost me my leg, my arm, and my firstborn child.
dear heart,
you will recover one day. dont let this crush you, fall on jesus, and hope in him, you know that he knows best, i know it hurts but hold on, hes there for you. dont turn away and be numb, let it hurt, everything, the restraining order that your mom put on your dad today, the lack of tickets, everything. and for those other paralyzed parts of your heart that got crushed so bad over and over, they just became numb, one day you'll have feeling again...one day.