the naked truth!

[jesushendrix]

i ordered Jasmine tea, not for its bitter tang, but because it reminded me of Bedouin nomads and exitic flowers fragrant with seductive scents and Gypsy belly dancers writhing in the candle light, the dark mysteries of the ages aglow in their fixing gazes

Comments

[exit44]

for the rhyming bit, may I suggest enjambment?

[jesushendrix]

i just need to read/write more, and stop sounding lame and forced. how exactly do you mean enjambment, applied to this piece specifically? (demonstrate?)

something like this:
business as usual said
my colleague to the bureau chief
massacres in Serbia and more
bombings in the middle east

i am not sure where to break the lines. the thought of fine tuning the mechanics makes me shit my pants, i know so little. your suggestions are more than welcome.