(no subject)
I had to drop Jean off at a friends house tonight...and this friend convienently lives only a few streets down from a certain family that has really been on my mind recently. So I'm driving past this families house and I see all the lights on and I stop in front of their house. My first thought was that I was going to stop in and say hi and see how they are doing, I havent talked to them for a while, and they used to be a big part of my life....I've watched their three children growup to be the beautiful kids they are now...so I thought it would be fun to just stop in real fast as long as I was right there and say hi.
However as I am sitting in front of the house, thoughts suddenly flow back to me as to why I havent talked to this family in so long. I knew that my parents would disapprove of me being there, so I started having a battle in my head.
My arguement was that just because my parents and this family got in a little dispute does not mean that my relationship with these people should suffer.
Exodus 20:12 - Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
I knew that my parents would disapprove...they think that this family is manipulative and takes advantage of me...so if I were to go there, knowing that my parents would disapprove, that would dishonour them.
So I started to drive away, and as I'm putting the car in drive I glance up at the door, and standing at the window is their second oldest. She's about 4 or 5 now and she was standing in the window with her blanket just looking out...I dont think she saw me, but I'm not really sure. As soon as I saw her I broke down into tears. I put the car in park and sat their and bitterly cried. At first they were tears of remorse...I just missed the kid so much and seeing her again didnt help anything - I wanted more then anything to just run up and grab her into a big bear hug. Then my tears turned bitter and I quickly became angry with my parents. I blamed them for me not being able to see the family anymore.
Exodus 20:12 - Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
My thoughts towards my parents werent exactly honouring. I know that I dont understand their judgement right now, but maybe one day I will. They see something I dont see...and I need to trust their judgement.
I looked up, and she was gone from the window. I could see the kids running around and laughing with their dad, and with tears still falling I drove away. It was one of the hardest things for me to do, but the right thing isnt always easy.
I still dont agree with my parents...but I have to respect their authority and judgement, and I have to honour their judgement and trust that they really do know what they are talking about.
I know that because I honoured my parents tonight, I also honoured God...and that for that I will be blessed.
He's working in me. Slowly, but surely, He's tearing down that wall that I've built over the years, and He's teaching me to be all that He wants me to be. He's teaching me to sacrifice my own selfish wants and desires, and He's guiding me through the daily trials we all have to face.
I think I'm proud of myself for the decision I made tonight, even thought it wasnt the easiest decision or what I wanted, I think I still made the right decision.
yay for me and getting one step closer!