a year later...
i just got back home from a wedding banquet with my dad. im too worked up to say anything more about the nights experience, about the days experience...about this whole trip back "home" in fact. but i'll write down this down for now, as a reminder to everyone and anyone...myself included: i dont care what other people say about me, my actions, my thought process, my belief system...anything pertaining to my very existence. the only thing that matters, the only thing at stake is my happiness. we'll all agree to disagree and i will always show a sign of my respect for that, or at least try my damn hardest, because you cant change my mind any more than i can with yours. its been my philosophy for years now and its only growing stronger with each passing minute so it rings truer now than it ever has before in my life. suck it, bitches and hoes.
with that said, heres a little present from me to you:
1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
in no particular order, just off the top of my head: rode a bike, baked/cooked (terms to be used loosely in reference to myself), rode a ferry, traveled with my friends to canadia, resurrected memories from the past during the summer, went to my first show in WA with the stephanie :), carved a pumpkin, made a pumpkin pie from a REAL pumpkin ahaha, shaved my head (how could i forget?!), pierced my ears (hahaha), live in a house with my friends, clean a shower, clean a toilet, realized thru first hand accounts that sometimes people really arent who you think they are but rather completely different beings and also to begin to understand what really accounts for the changes, depressed drunk, i met kris roe, massages (thank you deranator!), shot real gunz, sustainability advisory committee, applying for an ecology lab ta position and got it, got to see the new ataris for free…twice!, oh and brand new too! visited my old apartment for the first time in 3+ years during the summer break, visited my old landlady at an dinky nursing home during the winter break, bodies, ran my own independently designed project for ecology with guppies and maria, tried fried calamari, and maybe more?
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i usually dont make any…last year i wrote: “i just hope to do my best in my classes and to continue to manage my finances properly. i also look forward to sophomore years new and different housing situation.” i think i did pretty well in regards to last years resolutions…im still waiting for last semesters grades but eh! i feel good about em considering how i already heard back from hanson about o-chem…i passed yay! finances held up too. housing with my friends showed all of our true colors. rooming with the stephanie: cant complain, it just worked. next year? work harder, while fitting in some play time too. spring semester looks scary and i hope ill be able to do it all. i hope stephanie is able to somehow make it down to LA to visit me over the summer. other than that, ill be working a lot over the summer i hope. and then maybe australia trip in the winter? i don’t know, i wont expect too much…just bring it.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
not really close, but family nonetheless. my cousin michelle and her hubby jesus had 3rd baby dylan in the fall. 4 baby guppies born to maria and i!
4. Did anyone close to you die?
old ataris. tower records. :( steve irwin died too. maria and my guppies too.
5. What countries did you visit?
victoria, BC during spring break.
6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
“more discoveries and adventures with these new friends of mine. hope some deeper connections will be made. sad to say this but its true, more money to help me get thru college with. more self-motivation to actually do my work and to study.” awww! thats basically what i got this year! so lets see…next year: i hope im able to stay close to my friends while meeting new people and branching out more. eww more money. ongoing and continuous motivation/stability but being able to go out a little more as well. be more happy. more time wouldnt hurt. more music mmmm…
7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory?
not really…no real specific dates but more like larger events that took place over an extended time period.
12/9 - dcfc
12/11 - one
12/14 - mmm the end has never felt this good before
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
1.) being more focused and determined
2.) ecology class overall + maria and my independent project with the guppies :)
3.) sustainability advisory committee (SAC)
4.) getting thru o-chem; not quitting
5.) ecology lab ta position
6.) fewer comparisons
7.) real friends
9. What was your biggest failure?
little conflict between deran, amanda, and i. asian art. trusting liquid courage. fewer but more intense internal breakdowns.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
my knees cracked a lot more and hurt more. my shoulders too at the end of spring 06 semester. i also felt like i was getting sick at the end of the fall semester.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
doesnt really count because i got it years ago, but my spare headphones…they got me thru nights of studying at the SUB when my old phones decided to stop working all of a sudden. season 3 L word. plane tickets back to school.
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
my stephanie. just because i feel like she has been happier and more calm with herself and less stressed. i never knew things were as bad as she allowed it to seem but i was able to learn and we grew together, i guess. shes an amazing friend and im glad things worked out between us for the most part. her mom rita is pretty dope too. shes always smiling and shes too nice and cute. hehe like mother, like daughter i suppose. oh and maybe even kris roe…he went thru a lot of shit and change this year i suppose and the end results, from all this growth and development as a person and as a musician is reflected in the new songs from the upcoming album. its all kinda coming together and telling me to kinda grow up too but its hard when the old ataris stuff got me thru the hardest times of my life and high school. waaahhh…
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
the conflict between deran, amanda and i really opened my eyes and made me more aware of how the things you say sometimes can really hurt the ones you love the most. yeah…the game of he said, she said…no fun. “gossip”, trust, respect…we all played our parts. also, i had a little fit with stephie and her boyfriend chris. it was just between the two of us but it really sucked that i played a role in hurting my two friends amanda and stephie. my own actions disgusted myself; how i actually believed in liquid courage’s aid. i didn’t like who i turned into under these circumstances this past year. im slowly learning to get over them though. also, visiting my old landlady and meeting her caretaker Louisa who now lives in apt 4…that was some depressing shit. it was intense, remembering.
14. Where did most of your money go?
once again: college, college, college. anything college-related. groceries. gifts and presents for friends. summer. eating out. shows. i feel like ive been doing a better job with my finances compared to last year though.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
shaving my head with the stephanie, moving into a house together, last day of finals 12.14 with the ataris and maria that same night!, first show in WA with the stephanie and dcfc, ecology lab ta acceptance, ecology independent projects, SAC acceptance, spring break, summer time.
16. What song will always remind you of 2006?
once again, this is very hard…there are several songs that i listened to a lot but thats because they are my studying songs or just really good songs, not necessarily songs that will remind me of 2006. but 06 was a good year. i should do what jessica did and make soundtracks for the year. so anyways ill list these songs that were constantly on my minds playlist: sugarcult - the investigation, the*ataris - not capable of love (just recently, on repeat), weezer - photograph, jacks mannequin - the mixed tape, india.arie - i am not my hair, india.arie - video. if i really had to choose, itd be both india.arie’s i am not my hair and the ataris’ the hero dies in this one.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? much much happier hehe
ii. thinner or fatter? about the same. once, at stephanies house, i weighed 111lbs!
iii. richer or poorer? again, richer in knowledge but definately poorer in monetary wealth.
iv. more established? yes, definitely.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
studying ochem. attending club meetings. branching out. thinking before acting/speaking. learning: to let go, to REALLY move on, to forgive and to forget.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
like usual, procrastinating. revisiting the past. pretending things are fine when theyre really not and then running away when things get too scary. reading and thinking in between the lines.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
i spent it with my family at home. dad and i got into a little fit in the car about china and discrimination and child adopts and homosexuals. good times, i must say.
22. Did you fall in love in 2006?
i love the stephanie.
23. How many one-night stands?
3 with alcohol.
24. What was your favourite TV program?
mmm L word. more condensed L word nights.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
of course not…
26. What was the best book you read?
bel canto. i related to this love of music and what it means to different people. even though i havent finished it yet, its still been a good read. also a few of the short stories in my human experience class where we talked about how ones identity is tied in and influenced by experiences and music and literature, among other factors. they were good reads, though i dont really remember the titles right off the top of my head. i finished the da vinci code earlier this year and it was amazing of course. im in the middle of high fidelity and so far so good.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
im falling back into the ataris and their new stuff. i really think they should change their name! im excited about the new album. i rediscovered the format. umm…yeah. im in desperate need for new music.
28. What did you want and get?
a starting foundation from where my past has left me, from where spring semester has left me. inspiration. motivation. determination. true friends. show buddies. SAC admission. ecology lab ta position.
29. What did you want and not get?
larger attendance at the beach shindig. elementary school reunion. staying close to friends outside of the house.
30. What was your favourite film of this year?
v for vendetta. babel. little miss sunshine. talledega nights, meh. i really really really wanted to see the science of sleep. :( the pursuit of happiness was good.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
i turned 19. i dont remember doing much with the fam…probably the usual big dinner and cake. uh i remember going out to lunch with the amy, the marygee, and the sandeep. and then separately with the megan.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
“i totally agree with ben..."Having something physical to show for it." like i wish my mom, dad,...anyone could be up there with me in washington and school to see how happy i am and i function, how ive changed, and how i can take care of myself now...just to compare the past with the present.” - always true…and to have more time. slow time down a bit, more time to have fun and just to chill and to really enjoy life.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
uh less college-y. i dont think i wore any pjs during the fall semester. flip flops and capris in the rain. warmer winter wear.
34. What kept you sane?
aside from my music, the stephanie, more than ever. she and the housemates kept me really grounded and focused but she was there for me during some of my lowest lows but also highest highs. it was good and reassuring, but i realize i dont want it to ever get so bad that im expecting her to take care of me because thats just not her job.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
shane and carmen are STILL hawt...kris roe! my real mom, my wiffey, my other moms.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
gay marriage issues in south america. either nj, ct, or vt passing legislation for same-sex civil unions. problems in darfur. those are political right?
37. Who did you miss?
my mom and family…not as much as i did last year though. friends back home. amanda. friends from rege last year.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
uhh i met quite a handful of new people but no one that really stood out from the others. would deran count?
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006:
hard work DOES pay off…eventually. surround yourself with the right people and good things will come from that. you will both be able to help each other out. sometimes people arent who you really think they are but the real truth in people takes time to uncover. sometimes, its worth the wait and effort to get to know people for who they really are. its not necessarily a good or bad thing, its just a learning experience overall.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
this was so hard. took a while and i think i got the two that helps represent my year…im sure there could be more possibilities:
this could be perfect, it could be worth it
this could be perfect, if i wasnt worthless…
if i could be a part of your world, leave this all behind,
i would investigate a perfect life with you.
if i could say it in another way, if words could make this right,
i would investigate a perfect love with you.
this could be perfect.
(sugarcult - the investigation)
if you want it, you can have it
but youve got to learn to reach out there and grab it…
if you blew it, dont reject it,
just sit drawing up the plans and re-erect it…
(weezer - photograph)
THE END!
honestly, 2006 was a good year filled with many awesome times and valuable life lessons. itll only get better until 2009, i feel :) i cant believe another year has flown right by us. its insane. i will be celebrating and ringing in the new year with the family at disneyland. whatever you end up doing, i hope everyone has a very very happy new year!! see y'all in 2007!
with that said, heres a little present from me to you:
1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
in no particular order, just off the top of my head: rode a bike, baked/cooked (terms to be used loosely in reference to myself), rode a ferry, traveled with my friends to canadia, resurrected memories from the past during the summer, went to my first show in WA with the stephanie :), carved a pumpkin, made a pumpkin pie from a REAL pumpkin ahaha, shaved my head (how could i forget?!), pierced my ears (hahaha), live in a house with my friends, clean a shower, clean a toilet, realized thru first hand accounts that sometimes people really arent who you think they are but rather completely different beings and also to begin to understand what really accounts for the changes, depressed drunk, i met kris roe, massages (thank you deranator!), shot real gunz, sustainability advisory committee, applying for an ecology lab ta position and got it, got to see the new ataris for free…twice!, oh and brand new too! visited my old apartment for the first time in 3+ years during the summer break, visited my old landlady at an dinky nursing home during the winter break, bodies, ran my own independently designed project for ecology with guppies and maria, tried fried calamari, and maybe more?
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i usually dont make any…last year i wrote: “i just hope to do my best in my classes and to continue to manage my finances properly. i also look forward to sophomore years new and different housing situation.” i think i did pretty well in regards to last years resolutions…im still waiting for last semesters grades but eh! i feel good about em considering how i already heard back from hanson about o-chem…i passed yay! finances held up too. housing with my friends showed all of our true colors. rooming with the stephanie: cant complain, it just worked. next year? work harder, while fitting in some play time too. spring semester looks scary and i hope ill be able to do it all. i hope stephanie is able to somehow make it down to LA to visit me over the summer. other than that, ill be working a lot over the summer i hope. and then maybe australia trip in the winter? i don’t know, i wont expect too much…just bring it.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
not really close, but family nonetheless. my cousin michelle and her hubby jesus had 3rd baby dylan in the fall. 4 baby guppies born to maria and i!
4. Did anyone close to you die?
old ataris. tower records. :( steve irwin died too. maria and my guppies too.
5. What countries did you visit?
victoria, BC during spring break.
6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
“more discoveries and adventures with these new friends of mine. hope some deeper connections will be made. sad to say this but its true, more money to help me get thru college with. more self-motivation to actually do my work and to study.” awww! thats basically what i got this year! so lets see…next year: i hope im able to stay close to my friends while meeting new people and branching out more. eww more money. ongoing and continuous motivation/stability but being able to go out a little more as well. be more happy. more time wouldnt hurt. more music mmmm…
7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory?
not really…no real specific dates but more like larger events that took place over an extended time period.
12/9 - dcfc
12/11 - one
12/14 - mmm the end has never felt this good before
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
1.) being more focused and determined
2.) ecology class overall + maria and my independent project with the guppies :)
3.) sustainability advisory committee (SAC)
4.) getting thru o-chem; not quitting
5.) ecology lab ta position
6.) fewer comparisons
7.) real friends
9. What was your biggest failure?
little conflict between deran, amanda, and i. asian art. trusting liquid courage. fewer but more intense internal breakdowns.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
my knees cracked a lot more and hurt more. my shoulders too at the end of spring 06 semester. i also felt like i was getting sick at the end of the fall semester.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
doesnt really count because i got it years ago, but my spare headphones…they got me thru nights of studying at the SUB when my old phones decided to stop working all of a sudden. season 3 L word. plane tickets back to school.
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
my stephanie. just because i feel like she has been happier and more calm with herself and less stressed. i never knew things were as bad as she allowed it to seem but i was able to learn and we grew together, i guess. shes an amazing friend and im glad things worked out between us for the most part. her mom rita is pretty dope too. shes always smiling and shes too nice and cute. hehe like mother, like daughter i suppose. oh and maybe even kris roe…he went thru a lot of shit and change this year i suppose and the end results, from all this growth and development as a person and as a musician is reflected in the new songs from the upcoming album. its all kinda coming together and telling me to kinda grow up too but its hard when the old ataris stuff got me thru the hardest times of my life and high school. waaahhh…
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
the conflict between deran, amanda and i really opened my eyes and made me more aware of how the things you say sometimes can really hurt the ones you love the most. yeah…the game of he said, she said…no fun. “gossip”, trust, respect…we all played our parts. also, i had a little fit with stephie and her boyfriend chris. it was just between the two of us but it really sucked that i played a role in hurting my two friends amanda and stephie. my own actions disgusted myself; how i actually believed in liquid courage’s aid. i didn’t like who i turned into under these circumstances this past year. im slowly learning to get over them though. also, visiting my old landlady and meeting her caretaker Louisa who now lives in apt 4…that was some depressing shit. it was intense, remembering.
14. Where did most of your money go?
once again: college, college, college. anything college-related. groceries. gifts and presents for friends. summer. eating out. shows. i feel like ive been doing a better job with my finances compared to last year though.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
shaving my head with the stephanie, moving into a house together, last day of finals 12.14 with the ataris and maria that same night!, first show in WA with the stephanie and dcfc, ecology lab ta acceptance, ecology independent projects, SAC acceptance, spring break, summer time.
16. What song will always remind you of 2006?
once again, this is very hard…there are several songs that i listened to a lot but thats because they are my studying songs or just really good songs, not necessarily songs that will remind me of 2006. but 06 was a good year. i should do what jessica did and make soundtracks for the year. so anyways ill list these songs that were constantly on my minds playlist: sugarcult - the investigation, the*ataris - not capable of love (just recently, on repeat), weezer - photograph, jacks mannequin - the mixed tape, india.arie - i am not my hair, india.arie - video. if i really had to choose, itd be both india.arie’s i am not my hair and the ataris’ the hero dies in this one.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? much much happier hehe
ii. thinner or fatter? about the same. once, at stephanies house, i weighed 111lbs!
iii. richer or poorer? again, richer in knowledge but definately poorer in monetary wealth.
iv. more established? yes, definitely.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
studying ochem. attending club meetings. branching out. thinking before acting/speaking. learning: to let go, to REALLY move on, to forgive and to forget.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
like usual, procrastinating. revisiting the past. pretending things are fine when theyre really not and then running away when things get too scary. reading and thinking in between the lines.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
i spent it with my family at home. dad and i got into a little fit in the car about china and discrimination and child adopts and homosexuals. good times, i must say.
22. Did you fall in love in 2006?
i love the stephanie.
23. How many one-night stands?
3 with alcohol.
24. What was your favourite TV program?
mmm L word. more condensed L word nights.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
of course not…
26. What was the best book you read?
bel canto. i related to this love of music and what it means to different people. even though i havent finished it yet, its still been a good read. also a few of the short stories in my human experience class where we talked about how ones identity is tied in and influenced by experiences and music and literature, among other factors. they were good reads, though i dont really remember the titles right off the top of my head. i finished the da vinci code earlier this year and it was amazing of course. im in the middle of high fidelity and so far so good.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
im falling back into the ataris and their new stuff. i really think they should change their name! im excited about the new album. i rediscovered the format. umm…yeah. im in desperate need for new music.
28. What did you want and get?
a starting foundation from where my past has left me, from where spring semester has left me. inspiration. motivation. determination. true friends. show buddies. SAC admission. ecology lab ta position.
29. What did you want and not get?
larger attendance at the beach shindig. elementary school reunion. staying close to friends outside of the house.
30. What was your favourite film of this year?
v for vendetta. babel. little miss sunshine. talledega nights, meh. i really really really wanted to see the science of sleep. :( the pursuit of happiness was good.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
i turned 19. i dont remember doing much with the fam…probably the usual big dinner and cake. uh i remember going out to lunch with the amy, the marygee, and the sandeep. and then separately with the megan.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
“i totally agree with ben..."Having something physical to show for it." like i wish my mom, dad,...anyone could be up there with me in washington and school to see how happy i am and i function, how ive changed, and how i can take care of myself now...just to compare the past with the present.” - always true…and to have more time. slow time down a bit, more time to have fun and just to chill and to really enjoy life.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
uh less college-y. i dont think i wore any pjs during the fall semester. flip flops and capris in the rain. warmer winter wear.
34. What kept you sane?
aside from my music, the stephanie, more than ever. she and the housemates kept me really grounded and focused but she was there for me during some of my lowest lows but also highest highs. it was good and reassuring, but i realize i dont want it to ever get so bad that im expecting her to take care of me because thats just not her job.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
shane and carmen are STILL hawt...kris roe! my real mom, my wiffey, my other moms.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
gay marriage issues in south america. either nj, ct, or vt passing legislation for same-sex civil unions. problems in darfur. those are political right?
37. Who did you miss?
my mom and family…not as much as i did last year though. friends back home. amanda. friends from rege last year.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
uhh i met quite a handful of new people but no one that really stood out from the others. would deran count?
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006:
hard work DOES pay off…eventually. surround yourself with the right people and good things will come from that. you will both be able to help each other out. sometimes people arent who you really think they are but the real truth in people takes time to uncover. sometimes, its worth the wait and effort to get to know people for who they really are. its not necessarily a good or bad thing, its just a learning experience overall.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
this was so hard. took a while and i think i got the two that helps represent my year…im sure there could be more possibilities:
this could be perfect, it could be worth it
this could be perfect, if i wasnt worthless…
if i could be a part of your world, leave this all behind,
i would investigate a perfect life with you.
if i could say it in another way, if words could make this right,
i would investigate a perfect love with you.
this could be perfect.
(sugarcult - the investigation)
if you want it, you can have it
but youve got to learn to reach out there and grab it…
if you blew it, dont reject it,
just sit drawing up the plans and re-erect it…
(weezer - photograph)
THE END!
honestly, 2006 was a good year filled with many awesome times and valuable life lessons. itll only get better until 2009, i feel :) i cant believe another year has flown right by us. its insane. i will be celebrating and ringing in the new year with the family at disneyland. whatever you end up doing, i hope everyone has a very very happy new year!! see y'all in 2007!