The Bible Says "God Hates Fags"!
An exciting new Ex-Gay ministry has befallen us, let's help get their message out!
They are called Love God's Way Ministries, led by the decidedly creepy cubbish Donnie Davies, self appointed spokesperson for the Fuhrer that is God. Learn exciting new acronyms like C.H.O.P.S., which stands for "CHANGING HOMOSEXUALS into ORDINARY PEOPLE!" Parents can learn a great deal from this informative and realistic site as well, such as which music to shield their impressionable young children from as it comes from gay bands. I myself, a hopelessly bent pickle-smoker, can attest to the power of a gay band's influence. Had I never heard Ravi Shankar, DMX, Ghostface Killa, The Doors, Metallica, or Jay-Z, I might never have developed into the filthy faggot I am hopelessly consigned to flame for all eternity for being, but I accept that this is also another shining example of Jesus' love too! Seriously, I know that hearing "Love Her Madly" by The Doors is what made me predisposed towards indiscriminate three-ways and that twitchy feeling I get in my no-no place every time I see a bathroom stall with a decent sized hole cut out of it. I hear "Niggaz Done Started Something" by DMX and I lose all self control... MUST! FUCK! ASS!
Brother Donnie shares some very interesting philosophies also! Take, for instance, his love and admiration of Oscar Wilde as stated in his mission:Oscar Wilde, my hero, was a reformed homosexual. He went to prison for his sins. Once he was alone with his thouhgts, in jail, he saw the errors of his ways and repented. He died as a Christian. While I'm not advocating jailing all Homosexuals, I do think it would benefit them greatly. It would be for their own good. When a person is forced to think they will generally be able to see their problems and solve them by themselves.
What a sweet and well reasoned thing to say!
Meet Brother Donnie,
Reformed Fag-cum-Minister *giggle*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77ZaewxEikI
He even has an exciting band called Evening Service! Now remember, they don't want to be labeled a 'Christian band', although their faith is a big inspiration! They even have an exciting new song out called "The Bible Says (God Hates Fags)"! Isn't that catchy and oh-so-thoughtful? Goodness gracious, I just want to cry everytime I hear it!
The Bible Says (God Hates Fags) - Evening Service
Mmmm ... yeah, yeah
Give me strength to fight temptation
Lord, lead me to your salvation
The Bible says as plain as day
With a man you shall not lay
Lord, you are my strength
Fill me with your love
Help me fight these feelings
Help me rise above
Lord, help them hear me and make clear my voice
'Cause being gay is nothing but a choice
CHORUS
God hates a fag
God hates fags
God hates fags
So if you're a fag, He hates you, too
Read the Bible and you'll be sure
To enter heaven, there's no back door
Righteous man, get on your knees
There lies no virtue in sodomy
Lord you are my shield
Sustain me through the fight
A shelter from the urges
And help me see the light
You filthy sinners should just let me be
'Cause Jesus my savior's the only man for me
REPEAT CHORUS
Lord, you are my strength
Fill me with your love
Help me fight these feelings
Help me rise above
Lord, help them hear me and make clear my voice
'Cause being gay is nothing but a choice
REPEAT CHORUS
What's that, you say? A VIDEO IS OUT FOR THE SONG??? OH MY WORD! See for yourself, saints & sinners alike! Make sure you tell all your little friends about this post - link to me here and help me raise awareness of this important and well-intended work that Brother Donnie and his 'friends' are doing! And remember, kids - Jesus loves you, but DON'T PUT THAT IN YOUR MOUTH!
COPY & REPOST TO LINK HERE:
An exciting new Ex-Gay ministry has befallen us,
let's help get their message out!
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This Is What You'll Be Posting:
An exciting new Ex-Gay ministry has befallen us,
let's help get their message out!
Read angry_biscuit's post here for more info!
Hat tips to Jesus General, the last true heterosexual Christian patriot (and former giver of the best reach around EVAR), and to my beloved Pam for leading me to this path of righteousness. Now if you'll excuse me, I must find my poppers and Crisco...