Help!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay friends, I have a very touchy issue to discuss with you all. Now, I don't want you to laugh because I'm very sensitive about this and I'm in dire need of someone's generosity. I've been robbed and I need someone to make me feel like a man again.
I need someone to donate their foreskin so I can have it grafted onto my penis.
For those of you who don't know, I'm not only your God and Savior, but I'm also Jewish. My little Christ had his hat bobbed off when I was just a wee one and now I want it back. Well, not the original one, but I need something to cover the end of my pee pee. It's not fair!
The foreskin is supposed to make the old wanger look bigger. Someone recomended shaving my sack to make it appear larger, but that didn't work so well. Not that Ol' JC needs for his little man to look bigger, no no!! I'm real Jesus, not Fake Jesus. Remember?
I just want to be fully equiped again. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not sure how willing most of you would be to give up their foreskin, but I've got some great rewards for anyone who would do me this favor:
01. A 3rd testicle
02. Multi-colored pubic hair
03. Driver's side airbags
04. A coupon for a free Chocolate or Vanilla Frosty at Wendy's
05. $15 gift certificate from Amazon.com
06. An eternal membership to the Planet Hollywood in heaven
Take your pick! I'll have to remind you that the 3rd testicle will be coming from an otter and the multi-colored pubic hair will be done with Purplesaurus Rex Kool-Aid (Wait, do they still make that?)
So why I want a foreskin you ask? Anti-Foreskin propaganda often tells us that a foreskin makes it difficult for you to keep your penis clean of shmegma and sometimes makes your weiner smell funny. I've even heard people say that a foreskin makes your little man look like a tape worm.
Don't believe it!!!
Let me tell you about some people who have foreskins:
01. The Incredible Hulk
02. David Bowie (only in Labrynth)
03. Fred Flintstone
04. The Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz
05. Mother Teresa
06. Papa Smurf
07. Goliath
08. Everyone from the band Man-O-War
09. Your Grandpa
10. Uncle Ben
11. Andre the Giant
12. Rumple Foreskin the elf
Okay, now for a list of people who are circumcised
01. The Pope
02. Everyone in Dave Matthews Band (and that includes the fans!)
03. Jerry Garcia
04. The entire cast from MTV's Road Rules/ Real World Extreme Challenge
05. Gilbert Godfrey
06. Eminem
07. John Bobbit
08. Buddha
09. Gilligan and the Skipper
10. Metallica (they did it about four albums ago)
Is there anyone that I forgot to mention?
Please tell me if there is!
And anyone who is interested in loaning me some skin, give me a call!
I need someone to donate their foreskin so I can have it grafted onto my penis.
For those of you who don't know, I'm not only your God and Savior, but I'm also Jewish. My little Christ had his hat bobbed off when I was just a wee one and now I want it back. Well, not the original one, but I need something to cover the end of my pee pee. It's not fair!
The foreskin is supposed to make the old wanger look bigger. Someone recomended shaving my sack to make it appear larger, but that didn't work so well. Not that Ol' JC needs for his little man to look bigger, no no!! I'm real Jesus, not Fake Jesus. Remember?
I just want to be fully equiped again. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not sure how willing most of you would be to give up their foreskin, but I've got some great rewards for anyone who would do me this favor:
01. A 3rd testicle
02. Multi-colored pubic hair
03. Driver's side airbags
04. A coupon for a free Chocolate or Vanilla Frosty at Wendy's
05. $15 gift certificate from Amazon.com
06. An eternal membership to the Planet Hollywood in heaven
Take your pick! I'll have to remind you that the 3rd testicle will be coming from an otter and the multi-colored pubic hair will be done with Purplesaurus Rex Kool-Aid (Wait, do they still make that?)
So why I want a foreskin you ask? Anti-Foreskin propaganda often tells us that a foreskin makes it difficult for you to keep your penis clean of shmegma and sometimes makes your weiner smell funny. I've even heard people say that a foreskin makes your little man look like a tape worm.
Don't believe it!!!
Let me tell you about some people who have foreskins:
01. The Incredible Hulk
02. David Bowie (only in Labrynth)
03. Fred Flintstone
04. The Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz
05. Mother Teresa
06. Papa Smurf
07. Goliath
08. Everyone from the band Man-O-War
09. Your Grandpa
10. Uncle Ben
11. Andre the Giant
12. Rumple Foreskin the elf
Okay, now for a list of people who are circumcised
01. The Pope
02. Everyone in Dave Matthews Band (and that includes the fans!)
03. Jerry Garcia
04. The entire cast from MTV's Road Rules/ Real World Extreme Challenge
05. Gilbert Godfrey
06. Eminem
07. John Bobbit
08. Buddha
09. Gilligan and the Skipper
10. Metallica (they did it about four albums ago)
Is there anyone that I forgot to mention?
Please tell me if there is!
And anyone who is interested in loaning me some skin, give me a call!