21 reaons why I am cooler than Fake Jesus
I've decided to make a list of the 21 reasons why I am better than Fake Jesus and why you should be my friend instead of his. More might follow in the future, but these are the best ones I could come up with right now.
1. I have more interesting hair
2. I know the DJs at all of the clubs I go to
3. I've hung out with cool bands that you could only dream of meeting
4. I can walk on water
5. I've had the coolest piercings, like through my hands and feet
6. I have slept with the sexiest and coolest people you could ever imagine; we do all of the kinky sex stuff that they talk about on MTV
7. I have a web page about how cool I am
8. Even though I am not gay or bisexual, I have lots of friends who are so that makes me even cooler
9. I have lots of pictures of myself and they are displayed so everyone can see how interesting I look
10. I have done lots of different drugs; I'd list them but then I'd sound like I was trying to convince you how cool I am.
11. I don't have any tattoos, but I'm friends with all of the local tattoo artist and my friends have lots of tattoos...That's just as good
12. I got really drunk one time and peed in a bird bath
13. I am responsible for creating the multiple orgasm
14. I know how to manipulate people to get what I want so you are always better off being on my good side
15. I have a job and pay for everything myself, my dad doesn't help at all
16. I've never been arrested but one time I gave a blow job to a Police officer
17. I am responsible for creating Catholicism
18. I am single handedly responsible for starting this social scene
19. I already have a lot of cool friends that I could introduce you to
20. My views on politics, religion, sex, the environment, and everything else are always right; disagreeing with me means you are a close minded hypocrite
21. I am the God of this social scene
Can you think of anymore for me? I have to go bask in my coolness for a while.
1. I have more interesting hair
2. I know the DJs at all of the clubs I go to
3. I've hung out with cool bands that you could only dream of meeting
4. I can walk on water
5. I've had the coolest piercings, like through my hands and feet
6. I have slept with the sexiest and coolest people you could ever imagine; we do all of the kinky sex stuff that they talk about on MTV
7. I have a web page about how cool I am
8. Even though I am not gay or bisexual, I have lots of friends who are so that makes me even cooler
9. I have lots of pictures of myself and they are displayed so everyone can see how interesting I look
10. I have done lots of different drugs; I'd list them but then I'd sound like I was trying to convince you how cool I am.
11. I don't have any tattoos, but I'm friends with all of the local tattoo artist and my friends have lots of tattoos...That's just as good
12. I got really drunk one time and peed in a bird bath
13. I am responsible for creating the multiple orgasm
14. I know how to manipulate people to get what I want so you are always better off being on my good side
15. I have a job and pay for everything myself, my dad doesn't help at all
16. I've never been arrested but one time I gave a blow job to a Police officer
17. I am responsible for creating Catholicism
18. I am single handedly responsible for starting this social scene
19. I already have a lot of cool friends that I could introduce you to
20. My views on politics, religion, sex, the environment, and everything else are always right; disagreeing with me means you are a close minded hypocrite
21. I am the God of this social scene
Can you think of anymore for me? I have to go bask in my coolness for a while.