Fake Jesus?
You wouldn't believe what happened this past weekend, I'm SO pissed off!! You'd think people would be able to come up with their own gimmicks, you know, and not try to rip me off, but no, now I've got poseurs trying to be the Savior of Man. I mean, I'm the Son of God and all of that stuff, but you never heard of me having a twin brother. So there's no excuse for anyone looking like me other than myself, or something. Now there's some tool out there dressing like me and acting like me, trying to usurp my social status as the savior of man.
From what the D-crew (my Disciples) told me, this guy is named Bob, but for all intensive purposes we'll call him Fake Jesus.
So to start off, I went to my favorite club as I usually do on Saturdays, The Gothland. I was walking around with my girl friend Mary Magdalene, being my usual goth Christ self and mingling with the vampires and mummies and what ever else they thought they were when I saw him across the room.
It was him, Fake Jesus. Everyone was crowded around him, trying to get his attention or jump into his coversation. It was pathetic. Before I knew it, no one would talk to me. I wasn't the cool Jesus anymore!
I tried talking to this fat guy wearing a vinal corset, but he sneered at me and said "Oh, and who do you think you are supposed to be?" Then he walked over to Fake Jesus and bought him a drink.
Even worse, Fake Jesus was really fake, I mean cardboard cross velcored to his back, a sheet wrapped around his waist, and Burkenstock Sandals. Jesus NEVER wears Burkenstock sandals!!! Even his crown of thorns looked like it'd been made my Martha Stewart. How was everyone being fooled?
The D-Crew and I hid in one of the back corners watching what was going on and talking crap about Fake Jesus. Every time he walked by we would all roll our eyes in unison and make snide remarks. Whenever one of us had to use the bathroom or went to the bar to get a beer, at least three others went just in case they should happen to run into him.
And get this!!! When Mary went up to buy herself a drink, Fake Jesus came up and started mackin' on her!! I got so angry!!! So I got up the nerve to go over there, and as soon as Fake Jesus saw me coming, he split. He needed to know that Mary was MINE!!! I put my arm around her and planted one on her cheek to make it known. Then Lo and Behold, after I left, he was back at it again! Trying to hit up my girl! What's even worse is that after we left, Mary kept talking about him like he was soooo great or something!!!!
I hate him, I hate him so much. I think I'll write more comments about him today, ALL DAY, on my Live Journal. That will show HIM who is the Lord of this social scene! Hmph!
From what the D-crew (my Disciples) told me, this guy is named Bob, but for all intensive purposes we'll call him Fake Jesus.
So to start off, I went to my favorite club as I usually do on Saturdays, The Gothland. I was walking around with my girl friend Mary Magdalene, being my usual goth Christ self and mingling with the vampires and mummies and what ever else they thought they were when I saw him across the room.
It was him, Fake Jesus. Everyone was crowded around him, trying to get his attention or jump into his coversation. It was pathetic. Before I knew it, no one would talk to me. I wasn't the cool Jesus anymore!
I tried talking to this fat guy wearing a vinal corset, but he sneered at me and said "Oh, and who do you think you are supposed to be?" Then he walked over to Fake Jesus and bought him a drink.
Even worse, Fake Jesus was really fake, I mean cardboard cross velcored to his back, a sheet wrapped around his waist, and Burkenstock Sandals. Jesus NEVER wears Burkenstock sandals!!! Even his crown of thorns looked like it'd been made my Martha Stewart. How was everyone being fooled?
The D-Crew and I hid in one of the back corners watching what was going on and talking crap about Fake Jesus. Every time he walked by we would all roll our eyes in unison and make snide remarks. Whenever one of us had to use the bathroom or went to the bar to get a beer, at least three others went just in case they should happen to run into him.
And get this!!! When Mary went up to buy herself a drink, Fake Jesus came up and started mackin' on her!! I got so angry!!! So I got up the nerve to go over there, and as soon as Fake Jesus saw me coming, he split. He needed to know that Mary was MINE!!! I put my arm around her and planted one on her cheek to make it known. Then Lo and Behold, after I left, he was back at it again! Trying to hit up my girl! What's even worse is that after we left, Mary kept talking about him like he was soooo great or something!!!!
I hate him, I hate him so much. I think I'll write more comments about him today, ALL DAY, on my Live Journal. That will show HIM who is the Lord of this social scene! Hmph!