(no subject)
after watching the laramie project on hbo just now, i realized many things about the world. how it is so vile, corrupt, and sinister. how people can show hatred and ignorance with such anger and violence. how differences of any kind can churn up this deep, negative emotion toward a total stranger. how words and actions can hurt just the same. how the word free can mean absolutely nothing. how frightened i really am and how i try so damn hard to hide it. anyone can play the role of a tough guy. the world is so scary and yet it can be so beautiful. it's really hard for me to comprehend. i want to be apart of something beautiful and i know that i can be but how is it even possible. the things that go on outside my window are so painful, i really can't describe it.
i don't know. maybe i don't know anything. maybe this feeling will last only for tonight. all i know is that i sat in my bed and cried for the longest time thinking about how afraid i am of the world. i can't be afraid. i just can't. there are things i can fix and ways to fix them. thankfully, i am apart of an organization that wants some change. and that realizes that this world isn't perfect and it's time to highlight the negative and white it out, turn it into positive.
i don't know. maybe i don't know anything. maybe this feeling will last only for tonight. all i know is that i sat in my bed and cried for the longest time thinking about how afraid i am of the world. i can't be afraid. i just can't. there are things i can fix and ways to fix them. thankfully, i am apart of an organization that wants some change. and that realizes that this world isn't perfect and it's time to highlight the negative and white it out, turn it into positive.