Emotions--the problem i have controlling

May 18, 2009 22:53

When you can control an aspect of your life, then you need to change. Today was a day to remember and to reflect, which gave me the chance to understand myself and others. The day a small congrats message of a scholarship from PCC, which came at the right time when i am transferring to UCLA. Later, at around 12 p.m., my life seem to stop for a small second, it no longer was going to be the same. Bonnie further expose my inconsideration towards her and to others, my selfishness that has only been destroying me and our relationship, her expression and responses made me understand that i need to control my inner thoughts. I agree that i am not a perfect person, i make continuous mistakes which i don't learn from, but this continues to effect my life and makes it worst for me. Bonnie and others have been there for me and if i continue to be inconsiderate, selfish, and unreliable i will no longer have anybody on my side. Bonnie is a special person in my life-- she has been there for me, she has expressed her desire to be with me, she has devoted her energy and time for me, she has cooked  delicious food for me, she has taking me in her home, she has over and over sacrifice for me, and she will always be a part of me. I know what i did was wrong and overreacted and i can't go back and change it, all i can do is change myself-- change for the better. I hope that everything will be alright. Hope is all i need.
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