(no subject)
So vocal states was a blast and both of our groups were fucking AMAZING... In jazz Brittany Neal got outstanding female and we placed... Show chorus we placed and Ben got outstanding male and we got outstanding rhythm section... it's between us and Hamden... it's a pretty tight contest, I must say... I didn't hear our competition for Jazz chorus but I think we have that one in the bag, what with Walking on the thin line... I love our music department... I love music...
I think I'm finally going crazy though guys... Right before we left states I gave Shaen a hug and I thought I heard him say "love you"... I must be hearing things right? If he actually said it he must have been talking to Tricia... no possibble way he'd say anything like that to me... DAMNIT why do I have to be so unattractive? Am I really? I mean, losing weight isn't helping me cuz I'm 15 punds lighter and I feel fatter! What the hell is up with that?
Today was fun but it was one of those crazy hyper days where I'm so bouncy and "high" then everything comes crashing down around me and it all SUCKS... My status as single sucks... I'm gonna groq up to be a spinster... I need somebody in lkater life and let's face it, I'm not going to know most of my friends in 10-20 years... I actually think of a future with Shawn and it feels right but then I realize it'll never happen... I'm always going after or attracted to things I'll never hope to have and that's a major thing I need to fix... Am I a bad person? If there is even a single thing you would want me to fix, tell me what it is... I need to do something cuz obviously I'm doing everything wrong now
I think I'm finally going crazy though guys... Right before we left states I gave Shaen a hug and I thought I heard him say "love you"... I must be hearing things right? If he actually said it he must have been talking to Tricia... no possibble way he'd say anything like that to me... DAMNIT why do I have to be so unattractive? Am I really? I mean, losing weight isn't helping me cuz I'm 15 punds lighter and I feel fatter! What the hell is up with that?
Today was fun but it was one of those crazy hyper days where I'm so bouncy and "high" then everything comes crashing down around me and it all SUCKS... My status as single sucks... I'm gonna groq up to be a spinster... I need somebody in lkater life and let's face it, I'm not going to know most of my friends in 10-20 years... I actually think of a future with Shawn and it feels right but then I realize it'll never happen... I'm always going after or attracted to things I'll never hope to have and that's a major thing I need to fix... Am I a bad person? If there is even a single thing you would want me to fix, tell me what it is... I need to do something cuz obviously I'm doing everything wrong now