Why my ships are never canon - the truth
The revelation struck me so hard it's frightening - now I need to let it out, because if anything, this reason embraces ALL of my pairs regardless the fandoms, and it's shocking. And painful. And - oh, you just let sink it in:
Bottom line to this?
In all of the abovementioned pairs, character A were THEMSELVES the entire time.
They did not struggle, pretend, hide or abandon WHO THEY WERE.
And character B - appreciated, admired, ACCEPTED THEM - with the entirety of their insecurites and flaws.
And in canon - both characters had to struggle to FIT into a relationship.
Suppress their very essense. Be different for the sake of another. Hide.
Change. Pretend. Act out of their way.
Eventually, it apparently grows on them. The author makes sure of that anyways.
But you know what's truly scaring?
Is that intuitively, it can be assumed fans of the so-called fanon themselves seek for a a relationship where they [we] CAN BE THEMSELVES.
Where we don't have to SUPPRESS ourselves and fit into some model tailored by someone else.
Where we can appreciate another [and be appreciated in return] - for who they [we] TRULY are. Not for the fancy image in someone's head. But for realz.
And the ultimate horrible truth is that - eventually - the abovementioned canons are REALISTIC.
Whereas we want a fairytale of acceptance for who we are, without betraying ourselves. Look at the life around you. Analyze. SEE?
Subconscious? Most likely.
Say one more time how shipping is not important in defining a person, say it.
- SAKURA :: was able to be herself around Naruto ever since. Never had to pretend, hide her own feelings [into the 'inner!Sakura' persona] or elsewise act artificially when with Naruto. He knew all her faults, edges, mistakes, struggles - and loved her regardless.
He knew Sakura for who she was for real - not for whom she tried to be around Sasuke - suppressing her own feelings, her own character - all of it save for the obsession over him, and Sasuke - in return - did he EVER know the true Sakura? The Sakura outside of her infatuation with him? Did she EVER dare to show him the real HER? No.
And that is why we have SasuSaku [where none of them can be themselves around each other] as canon, and NaruSaku, where Naruto knows and understands Sakura inside-out - as fanon. - KARIN :: never ever suppressed her own persona around Sasuke. Acted all tsundere, out on impulse, extreme, raw - but always real. Always being herself - and Sasuke? Sasuke accepted her FOR WHO SHE IS, never demanding her to change, to abandon her personality traits, to wash down her emotions - no, he accepted Karin for who Karin really is.
And that is why SasuKarin is fanon, and Karin is eliminated from the plot altogether. And rumour has it SuiKa is canon - can Karin be really her non-violent, softer part around Suigetsu? Would she truly WANT it? To erase a whole part of her being because it doesn't FIT in their relationship? - KATARA :: has literally been through fire and water with Zuko, who has seen her at her ultimate WORST. Seen - and accepted her for who she was - fierce relentless FIGHTER - never judged her [more than he judges himself, that is] - and was ready to undergo whatever torment with her - for her. Learn Katara, appreciate and admire her with her faults, her problems, insecurities, hopes - ALL of her. That is Zuko.
And that is why Zutara is fanon, and on the other hand, a relationship where Katara had to fit all of herself, her multifaceted persona full of ups and downs, rights and wrongs - into an immaculate mother figure, forever strong, forever caring and forgiving and enduring - that is why kataang is canon. - INO :: has known Shikamaru all her life [and probably before that]. The level of sheer TRUST in their teamwork alone [not even mentioning the relationship as it is] is unprecedented, unsurpassed - and yet, Shikamaru knew her not for JUST the trust, but for EVERYTHING that was Ino: loud to the point of obnoxious, wild, troublesome, with so many faults [who isn't, really] - yet did he ever accuse her of those? Turned her down? Neglected her? Made her CHANGE her ways? NO! Shikamaru KNEW how to appreciate Ino just the way she was.
And that is why ShikaIno is a forever angsty fanon; whereas Sai who knows not even half as much as Shikamaru does know Ino - somehow ends up the father of her son, and we have SaiIno as canon. - TEMARI :: strong, straightforward to the point of brash, willful - and Shikamaru who always was in [unspoken, but nearly palpable noentheless] need of protecting someone, being needed by someone - ending up with her who's on par with him at pretty everything and needs protection least of all - and ShikaTema is canon, where Temari is forced to reduce her hopes, her ambitions, her love for her motherland to a life among foreigners who don't share neither her dreams, nor do they truly KNOW her for who she WAS, whom she COULD have been.
- MADARA :: was almost there - Hashirama almost accepted him for WHO he was, unchanging, relentless, stubborn, REAL - but wait, no. HashiMito is canon, and Madara had to leave - to live a life full of loneliness as it was the price of being HIMSELF. Oh yeah, Hashirama had all the right in the world to accept him in some afterlife - when LIFE that mattered was OVER.
- SASUKE :: it only took him 698 chapters to LEARN to be himself, it only took him and Naruto those 698 chapters to understand each other, to accept each other AS THEY ARE, flawed and struggling, and HOPING for a better future - when it all went down the drain in a matter of moments. What is SasuNaru, why do you even ask. Being your own self, true to your own ideals, not having to hide your feelings? ORLY?
- HERMIONE :: read Katara's. It's either being yourself - or fulfilling a designated role you think you're fit to play for the rest of your life [or the authors thinks so]. And I'm not even mentioning Dramione in its full extent here. Not yet familiar with the original canon to make much observations - but the basic outline is pretty clear - it's costy being yourself.
- HINATA :: even writing about this character feels tragic in the face of canon, where she was reduced to a pairing fodder of NaruHina, a flat 1-dimension piece of injustice to everything her fanon self was promising to become - a lady in no need of suppressing her desires, hiding her insecurities; but blooming strong and glorious - among the persons who KNEW her best of all - be in NejiHina [who has been there for her since... forever - and was exchanged for a Naruto-kun's big warm hand in an instant] or, to a lesser extent, KibaHina or ShinoHina.
Bottom line to this?
In all of the abovementioned pairs, character A were THEMSELVES the entire time.
They did not struggle, pretend, hide or abandon WHO THEY WERE.
And character B - appreciated, admired, ACCEPTED THEM - with the entirety of their insecurites and flaws.
And in canon - both characters had to struggle to FIT into a relationship.
Suppress their very essense. Be different for the sake of another. Hide.
Change. Pretend. Act out of their way.
Eventually, it apparently grows on them. The author makes sure of that anyways.
But you know what's truly scaring?
Is that intuitively, it can be assumed fans of the so-called fanon themselves seek for a a relationship where they [we] CAN BE THEMSELVES.
Where we don't have to SUPPRESS ourselves and fit into some model tailored by someone else.
Where we can appreciate another [and be appreciated in return] - for who they [we] TRULY are. Not for the fancy image in someone's head. But for realz.
And the ultimate horrible truth is that - eventually - the abovementioned canons are REALISTIC.
Whereas we want a fairytale of acceptance for who we are, without betraying ourselves. Look at the life around you. Analyze. SEE?
Subconscious? Most likely.
Say one more time how shipping is not important in defining a person, say it.