The Adventures of the Doctor and Rory the Roman: Ten
1772 AD
“I don’t understand,” Rory yelled at the spiny looking alien in front of him. “I can’t understand you.”
Which was rather pointless since it was obvious the spiny alien didn’t understand him either. Which actually answered one of Rory’s questions about the Tardis translation circuits. The Tardis must need to be present the first time someone met an alien race in order to be able to do the translating magic which would explain why the Doctor had given him language books. Maybe. Or maybe the Tardis had gone out of existence entirely. Whatever the reason it really was not going to help Rory out of his current predicament.
He’d had a crazy couple of hundred years. He and the Pandorica had been shunted through deepest Africa, taken over the Pacific into Australia of all places when some genius scholar had gotten the idea that the Pandorica was a prison - just because he was right, Rory had to laugh- so they could figure out how to use it in their penal colony there. When they’d arrived, the people they were supposed to be sent to had apparently never existed and so Rory had tried to figure out how to get the Pandorica back to England. The best he’d been able to come up with was the Americas. There had been a hairy decade or so in South America before they’d made their way into North America and taken up residence in a cave near the Canadian border.
There was fighting all along there and Rory figured it would be a great place to disappear. It had been for a good long while. He’d barely seen anyone apart from the occasional moose - he’s not kidding, it seriously happened - that came dropping in, and had happily predicted being undiscovered until well into the next century where he’d hopefully get back to England. And his prediction was half right. He wasn’t discovered by humans, but by aliens. Who shouldn’t exist, he thought petulantly. They were currently not in the cave any longer, but the alien spaceship that was parked in the cave.
Rory had been trying to communicate with their leader - he assumed it was their leader anyway - for hours, and was getting nowhere. Sign language was not universal when the physiology was so different. They’d taken his sword away, but hadn’t been able to get at his hands. Considering they all had big, alien ray gun things, he’d decided he was at a bit of a disadvantage if it came to a fire fight.
The aliens didn’t really seem hostile, or Rory gathered they would probably have killed him a long time ago, but they seemed scared and defensive. That was the best he could guess. Eventually they’d thrown him in a cell of some kind and he’d spent the better part of an hour worrying about the Pandorica and trying to figure out if he could somehow break out of his cell. He also wondered for the billionth time why the Pandorica couldn’t somehow be a very small box that he could perhaps keep in his pocket and make big again when the nineties - the right nineties, he’d seen a lot of them - rolled around.
He’d been there for a few hours when there was a big commotion outside of his cell and Rory saw a skinny man in a pinstripe suit and a dark-skinned woman with a pleather - what a flashback/flashforward that was - jacket being shoved along the corridor. The aliens did some more squawky noises and put them in Rory’s cell with him.
“How long have you been in here?” the man asked, eying Rory with interest. “I can only think of two reasons for you to be dressed like that. Fancy dress or time works very differently with the Heenuis. If the fancy dress option, bravo for getting it so accurate and for getting the materials despite them not existing anymore.”
Rory could feel a non-existent headache coming on. He hoped his guess would be accurate, but really how could it not be?
“Doctor?” he asked, keeping his eyes closed.
“No talking, no plotting. Different cells, no, not available,” he heard from outside the cell and that only helped to confirm his previous suspicion. “Be quiet, straw people.”
He could understand the aliens now.
“Hello,” the Doctor said, completely disregarding the alien’s instructions and, also, poking him. “Are your eyes naturally closed all the time or are you suffering from some kind of temporary stickiness?”
“Doctor, stop badgering him,” the woman said, and Rory could hear her voice getting closer and a cautious hand on his shoulder. “Are you all right? Don’t mind him, he’s a bit mad.”
“Bad form, Martha Jones,” the Doctor cried out. “Have I ever called you mad?”
“Am I mad?” she asked calmly.
Rory opened one eye.
“Don’t be silly, you’re far too sensible for that. And rational. All those serious things. Bothersome things.”
“Would you say you’re mad?” Martha continued on the same track.
“Not usually, only occasionally, and when in Rome, which we’re not and I’m blaming him for that reference, so no, but then again, it is Saturday. Fine, yes.”
“Then I’m not being rude.”
Rory opened his other eye and started to laugh.
“Doctor, I’m glad to see you.”
“Why, are you ill? You look a bit…plastic.”
“Only for about the last sixteen hundred years or so.”
He kept laughing. Martha and the Doctor exchanged a look and Rory didn’t mind if they thought he was nuts. He deserved to act a little nuts, he thought.
“Can you tell me your name?” Martha asked.
“If I did it would take all the mystery out of life,” Rory said. “Doctor, is the Tardis nearby, do you have your sonic? I’ve got to get out of here and these aliens and I have been doing charades for the past couple of hours. Do you know what they want? Are they invading?”
The Doctor and Martha exchanged another look.
“They’ve got the Tardis,” Martha said slowly.
“They took the sonic,” the Doctor said. “And have we met? Are you one of the people who don’t exist anymore? Ooh, how do I know that?” he asked, twirling around and sticking his hands in his pockets. “And why do you know me? I think you do anyway. Seems like you do.”
“You’re either in your first, tenth, eleventh, twelfth or thirteenth body,” Rory said, enjoying teasing the Doctor a bit. “But whatever one, it’s a talker.”
“Constantly,” Martha said, standing up closer to the Doctor.
“I like this one,” Rory said and stood up himself. “Both companion and Doctor. And I will end the suspense. Doctor, my name is Rory Williams. We’re going to travel, you and I. Hopefully…keep the universe from dying.”
“Oh, oh, clever you,” the Doctor said, smiling. “Rude you. Didn’t have to keep me in suspense like that. Now I understand. It’s rather like getting a hat with a hole in it and then fixing it. You’re like a hatter. Martha Jones, allow me to present Rory Williams, faithful Centurion. I had to forget him, you see.”
“A pleasure,” Martha said, sticking her hand out.
Rory shook it.
“Here too. Sorry to be so batty. I’ve been on my own for awhile now and it gets a bit…rough.”
“I’ll say,” the Doctor said, rubbing his hands together. “Now, now, Rory and Martha, how shall we do this? I assume the Pandorica is on board?”
“Yeah, forward.”
“The Tardis is at the back,” Martha said.
The Doctor suddenly whirled around and shouted for the guards to come back. When they did, the Doctor whispered in their ears - where Rory assumed their ears were - and they unlocked the door. Rory could only guess the Doctor had somehow said whatever he said so that Rory couldn’t understand, because normally he could hear a whispered conversation at fifteen meters. When Rory and Martha tried to follow the Doctor out, the aliens hissed at them and slammed the door in their faces.
“Doctor?” they asked in unison.
“I’ll be back,” he said, winking at them. “No fear.”
He strolled off with the alien guards and the other two settled back into the cell.
“I hate it when he does that,” Martha said, sitting down against the cell wall.
“Tell me about it,” Rory agreed with her and followed suit.
“So, have you traveled with the Doctor before?” Martha asked.
“It depends on what life I’m living,” Rory said. “I’m not sure I even understand it really.”
“Sounds like a good story for while we wait,” Martha said.
So Rory told her. Companions of the Doctor were always the best people to tell strange stories about time travel to. It was sort of how they lived their lives.
“So any of us could be subject to just disappearing and never existing?” Martha asked at the end.
“Yeah, the only reason you’d know about it maybe would be cause of the Doctor and the Tardis. The Doctor said we were at the eye of the storm - him and me in particular and the Earth as well, I think - but there’s no reason why we can’t suddenly get erased. I’ve already been actually and it’s not much fun.”
“I believe you,” Martha said. “I think your time in the Tardis has been even more exciting than mine and I met Shakespeare and almost got killed by witches.”
“Will’s the best,” Rory agreed absentmindedly. “Anyway, I’ve just got to get out of here and find Amy.”
“Don’t blush,” Martha said, “but I think that’s amazing. You know how many blokes would wait that long for a girl?”
“I did kill her,” Rory said. “Kinda feels like I owe her.”
“Don’t be silly,” Martha said, nudging him. “I mean, yes, you did and you do, but most guys would simply buy flowers and put them on her grave and then party until the universe died.”
“Not much around to party about,” Rory said glumly.
“I get the feeling you don’t think much of yourself,” Martha said.
“Oh, I’m great,” Rory said, looking at her. “Just not to the right people. But it’s hard to tell, I change all the time and it’s a bit difficult to keep up. I’ve met so many Doctors.”
“Right, regeneration,” Martha said. “That’s a bit weird, eh?”
“Who changes their face like that?” Rory asked.
“Only aliens with more brains than sense and a weird penchant for licking everything,” Martha answered.
Rory made a face.
“He licks things?”
“All the time. It’s almost worse when he’s in the Tardis.”
“I didn’t need to know that,” Rory said, feeling more relaxed than he had in about a thousand years.
“I’m sorry, I just couldn’t keep carrying that on my own,” Martha said, laughing. “But he’s a bit brilliant as well. I’m very glad to be traveling with him. Even if he does keep on about how he’s traveled with better.”
“He’s traveled with the best,” Rory said, “I’ve seen them. That definitely includes you, Miss Martha Jones. Oh…I’m sounding like him now, aren’t I?”
“Slightly,” Martha said. “But that’s okay. It’s not bad to be like the Doctor, not mostly. And thank you. Also, it’s Dr. Martha Jones.”
“Me too,” Rory said. “Well, the medieval version of a medical license anyway. I doubt it would hold up in 2010, but I was a nurse then - in 2010, not in the middle ages, well, I was too then, I guess…technically - so I’m definitely licensed at least a little.”
“Yeah?” Martha asked, laughing at his pathetic explanation.
“Yeah. But I wasn’t going to try for doctor. See, the Doctor visited Amy when she was small and then disappeared for twelve years, and the rest of us thought he was just her imaginary friend. She always wanted to play Raggedy Doctor when we were younger. Kinda put me off of the whole doctor thing. It reminded me of being…second. But I’d always wanted to help people…”
“So you did what you could,” Martha said. “I tell you what, it’s annoying to feel like you’re second best. But you never really are. I’ve decided that. After all, the Doctor wouldn’t even bother with you if he didn’t think you were good. Even just a little bit. No matter how many Rose Tylers were traveling with him beforehand.”
“Rose?” Rory asked. “She traveled with the Ninth Doctor.”
“Then I must be with the Tenth,” Martha said.
“Then I’ve got Eleven, Twelve or Thirteen. Wow, I could have the very last Doctor.”
“That’s a terrifying thought,” Martha said.
“I highly agree.”
They sat in silence for awhile before they started talking again and plotting how they would get out of the cell and what they were going to do to the Doctor for leaving them in there for so long. But it was a full two days before the Doctor came back and by that time, they were very fast friends. Rory hadn’t had real friends for awhile now and it had been very hard to get close to any of the Doctor’s companions that he’d met because he’d known them for such short periods. Martha’s presence was helping to stave off the panic that being away from the Pandorica inevitably brought on. He really hoped nothing bad had - now he was thinking about the person currently sitting next to him in the past tense, oh bother - happened to Martha to cause her to stop traveling with the Doctor.
On the second day, there was a scuffling sound from down the hall and the Doctor was thrown onto the floor outside their cell.
“Doctor, what’s going on?” Martha shouted.
“Are you hurt?” Rory asked.
“There’s no need to worry about the Doctor,” the Doctor said, getting to his feet. “Just the ceremonial tossing to celebrate a new friendship.” They looked blankly at him. “Oh, didn’t I say? I convinced them to leave. We’re going to take them somewhere else.”
“Where? The universe is dead,” Rory pointed out.
“Yes, well, yes, didn’t really…still, doesn’t matter. I can corridor off a section of the Tardis for them and it shouldn’t be long now - then - until you right things, Rory. You and me.”
The aliens unlocked the doors and Rory and Martha stretched their limbs.
“How are they even here?” Rory asked. “I live in a version of history where there are no stars and Genghis Khan never existed. How did these ones survive?”
“Vacation,” the Doctor said, pulling his seemingly newly returned sonic - the same one as the Ninth Doctor had possessed - and giving it a look over. “They were on Venus when - when being a very relative term since it’s always happening - it all happened. It took them sixteen hundred years to get here and they thought they’d make a go at life on Earth. That would, of course, equal the utter destruction of the human race since the Heenuis are very carnivorous, but just sweet as can be underneath. So, I explained what was going on and they’ve agreed to come with me. They’ll get a new home and I’ll get a lot of company, a lot of company. I hope the Tardis won’t mind…” the Doctor trailed off.
Rory stifled a smile at the mental conversation the Doctor and the Tardis would have once she - she was always a she now to him - realized she would be hosting an entire species for an indefinite period of time until the universe died.
“Blimey, won’t the wife be mad,” Martha said, apparently thinking the same thing.
“Mouths closed and come on,” the Doctor said, taking off his glasses and putting them in his pocket, and then offered her his hand.
“Sorry, Doctor,” Martha said, taking his hand and walking off down the corridor with him. “Coming, Rory?”
“I’ve got to find Amy.”
“She’s this way,” the Doctor said, cocking his head. “We’ll go together a ways yet, Centurion.”
“I think I like Rory the Roman better,” Rory mumbled to himself.
“We can do that too,” the Doctor said. “You’ve earned titles upon titles, slews of them, piles and heaps and bounds. You can have any title you like.”
“Rory Williams from Leadworth will do,” Rory said.
“That’s the spirit,” the Doctor said. “Now, allons-y, Rory Williams from Leadworth.”
“Why didn’t that translate?” Rory asked.
“You’re asking the most advanced telepathic brain that speaks everything why it can make sure you hear it in any language it wants?”
“Yeah, I am.”
“Special friendship…link, brainy…thing.”
“That cleared that up then,” Rory said.
“You two behave,” Martha said, linking her arm with Rory’s.
They soon came to the main chamber and Rory saw the Pandorica unopened and undamaged in the center. He wanted to rush over to it in relief, but he didn’t. Symbols don’t rush.
“I’ve arranged for a teleport,” the Doctor said, gesturing.
“Goodbye then,” Rory said. “I’m getting closer to you, I think. My you, I mean.”
“Sounds like,” the Doctor said. “Only three more after me. Goodbye, goodbye, brave Rory.”
“Don’t remember this,” Rory said.
“I won’t. Martha here won’t let me, will you?”
“As if I can ever make you do anything,” Martha said.
“Can too,” the Doctor argued. “Centrica Five? The moon? 1969?”
“Goodbye, Martha,” Rory said, pulling her into a hug and surprising himself with his own boldness. “Thanks for everything. I mean it.”
“You too,” Martha said. “Never give up, okay? You’re so close. I’ll see you in another universe or something.”
“You’re on. Drinks on me.”
“Bring Amy.”
“Okay.”
The Doctor hugged him too and then Rory stepped on the platform, putting one hand on the Pandorica, so glad to feel its familiar surface again. The Doctor and Martha blurred and were gone.