The Adventures of the Doctor and Rory the Roman: Four
879 AD
There were times Rory really appreciated being plastic. It made long marches a lot easier. Right now, though, he wished he was traveling without his hands tied behind his back. His sword had been taken away and it was a little hard to shoot people when you couldn’t see where you were shooting. Not that he could have shot an entire Muslim army. He was a little bit worried that violence was becoming his answer for everything anyway. Somehow it was just very very wrong and something the Doctor wouldn’t approve of. Any of him. And it made Rory ill every time he thought about the lives he’d taken, before and after the ever sickening kill of Amy. All he could hope for was that the Doctor would fix time and that this history would never have happened.
And he wished people would stop sacking the cities that the Pandorica was housed in. It made it necessary for him to put on his mysterious oracle hat and he was never very comfortable wearing it. It had been working for over seven hundred years though. There was that. But the Muslims didn’t seem to agree and now he was being frog-marched into Spain where the Pandorica was being taken as spoils of war. All in a day’s work for a plastic centurion.
His guards thought it was very odd that he never slept or ate and he would have tried to do so to oblige them - or so they would stop freaking him out with their constant watching of him - but those switches appeared to have been turned off or something. He still wondered how he was able to keep going when it was very likely the Nestene whats-its had been wiped from existence. He kept forgetting to ask the Doctor about it.
“Halt!”
Rory stopped, glad for a little rest. He didn’t sleep, but he still got sore feet, though much much later than a human would have.
They made up camp for the night and Rory was, as usual, tied to the wagon housing the Pandorica. He settled down for a long night of boredom and making up escape plans and trying to appear as imposing and yet not threatening as he could. It really was a very interesting life he was leading.
“Psst,” came a noise from behind him.
Rory tried to twist around but it was a little bit hard being all tied up and everything.
“Yes?” he said calmly.
“Did you know your uniform is extremely out of date?”
“It hadn’t occurred to me, but thanks for the fashion advice,” he said, hoping he was talking to who he thought he was talking to.
There was a rustling from behind him and then something tapped him on the shoulder. He turned as much as he was able and saw a tall man leaning against the Pandorica on the wagon above him. He had extraordinarily curly hair springing out from underneath a hat and the longest scarf Rory had ever seen. It was a wonder he hadn’t strangled himself or tripped and broken his neck. The man smiled, flashing extremely white teeth everywhere in the moon and torch light.
“Could you possibly let me know where I am? It’s a bit dark out and I’ve lost my way.”
“The borders of Spain,” Rory said and paused. “Would I be right in thinking you’re the Doctor?”
“A pleasure to meet you,” the Doctor said, jumping down and then yanking his scarf out from the wagon spokes it had gotten itself into. “Though we haven’t. Met that is. You really are very old-fashioned,” he said, examining Rory up and down.
“Doctor, it’s Rory.”
Rory said it very carefully, annunciating beautifully.
The Doctor blinked for a moment and then another grin split his face.
“It worked again. I say, I am rather clever.”
Again?
“The cleverest alien there ever was,” Rory said, rolling his eyes. “Now, could you untie me?”
The Doctor pulled out an even different version of the sonic and flicked it at Rory’s ropes. They snapped and he glanced around, looking for his over-protective guards. They usually took it upon themselves to watch him in shifts. He couldn’t see them anywhere.
“The guards are all taking a nap,” the Doctor said, “very tired they were.”
Rory smiled.
“Excellent, now, do you have anything that would get the Pandorica away from here without causing the entire army to rise up against us?”
“Rather dramatic, aren’t you?” the Doctor said, turning and striding away. “Let’s reconvene at the Tardis, shall we?”
“I don’t want to leave her,” Rory said.
“No, you never do. But that’s all right. It’s for the best, really. Now catch up,” the Doctor flung over his shoulder.
Rory grimaced and then ran after the Doctor, using his night vision to avoid running into things. He wondered how the Doctor was doing it. Then the Doctor ran headlong into a tree and answered his unasked question.
“Let me help,” Rory said and sighed. “You’re rather bumbly right now, aren’t you?”
“What an atrocious slander,” the Doctor said. “I stride elegantly at all times.”
“You’re getting a black eye,” Rory said and spotted the Tardis up ahead. “Come on, I’ll fix you up.”
Rory supported the Doctor for a moment or two while the other man grumbled at being supported and then produced a key that let them into the Tardis.
Rory wondered if the Tardis ever stayed the same for more than one incarnation of the Doctor. But it was the Tardis and as long as it stayed in one time and place while he was in it, he wanted to be there more than any place in the world.
A woman was standing at the console, anxiously scanning it.
“You’re back,” she yelled at the sound of the door opening and started to run around the console, stopping short when she saw Rory. “Who are you and what have you done to the Doctor?”
“I’m Rory Williams,” Rory said wearily. He was beginning to understand the Doctor’s hatred of having to explain everything all the time. “I haven’t done anything to him; he’s hit his head on a tree like a great big space idiot.”
“I would resent that,” the Doctor said, sagging a little, “if I was feeling better. It’s fine, Sarah-Jane, Rory’s going to travel with me one day.”
“Are we in Rome?” she asked, looking at Rory’s clothes curiously. “I would already know except you locked me in here and went exploring by yourself!”
Rory raised his eyebrows.
“Yes, well, I’m sorry, Sarah. I needed to find out where we were first. Jelly baby?”
The Doctor fumbled in his coat and Sarah-Jane batted away the white bag he somehow managed to untangle from his pockets and scarf.
“Don’t try to bribe your way out of it, Doctor.” She got closer and saw his face. “You’re hurt, oh, Doctor, we need to fix you up.”
“I’m a nurse,” Rory said and sat the Doctor down on the floor.
“A centurion nurse?” she said, looking puzzled.
“It’s a long story,” he said. “Can you bring me some water and bandages please?”
He spoke loudly, hoping the Tardis would hear him. It seemed to work because Sarah-Jane was back in a very short amount of time.
“Thank you, Sarah,” he said.
“Sarah-Jane,” she said sharply.
“Sorry,” he said, looking at the Doctor in confusion, who simply smiled at him. “Uh, could you hold his head for me?”
“Yes,” she said, moving into position.
“Do you have a penlight or can the sonic do as well?” Rory asked the Doctor, who handed over the sonic. “Thanks. It’s not going to blow up the Tardis or anything if I simply use it to check your pupil dilation, is it?”
“I checked my own dilation,” the Doctor said cheerily. “Normal as normal can be.”
“I’ll do my own diagnosis, thanks,” Rory said. “I reiterate, am I about to blow up the Tardis?”
“You’re a bit more insistent than I remember,” the Doctor said. “Good for you, a bit annoying though. You’re fine, just fine.”
“It’s been over a hundred years,” Rory said, shining the sonic’s light into the Doctor’s eyes and was relieved to see he didn’t have a concussion. Probably. Rory was probably more adept than most, but not exactly an expert on Timelord physiology. “I am going to change.”
“Not as much as me I bet,” the Doctor said, grinning again.
This Doctor seemed to have a Cheshire Cat complex.
Rory put a cold compress on the Doctor’s eye and figured that would probably be the best he could do.
“You need to keep the swelling down. Now I have to get back to the Pandorica. I can’t leave it there. That army doesn’t seem to quite understand its importance.”
“Armies never do,” the Doctor said, jumping up and flinging the compress so that it landed on the other side of the room. Sarah-Jane followed its trajectory and picked it up with a long-suffering look. Rory knew how she felt. The Doctor had worn it for all about twelve seconds. Still, maybe that was all a Timelord needed. “I’ve got a plan!”
“An actual plan or an ‘I want the little humans to think I have a plan’ plan?” Rory asked skeptically.
“How many of me have you met?” the Doctor asked, pushing buttons and flipping levers and probably concentrating on about a million things at once.
“Six, including you,” Rory said, doing a quick count in his head. “One of you twice.”
“That was two mes ago,” the Doctor cried. “I’m even better now, so never fear. I’ll get Amy out of this.”
“Heaven help this Amy,” Sarah-Jane muttered.
Rory looked askance at her.
“Sarah-Jane,” he said musingly. “I’ve heard the Doctor mention you.”
“I don’t want to know,” she said quickly. “I don’t want to know how he goes or what happens to me.”
“It might not even happen,” Rory said. “Time’s a bit wonky right now.”
“Isn’t it always?” she said, grinning at him.
He smiled back.
“Around the Doctor, yes.”
“What is the Pandorica?” she asked.
“A box with my fiancée stuffed inside,” he said idly, wondering what the Doctor was up to.
“What?” she asked, sounding horrified.
“It’s better than it sounds,” he promised, going over to the Doctor. “Doctor, you’re not taking off, are you?”
“Can’t execute the plan without it,” the Doctor said and then they started to dematerialize.
Rory held the console and prayed they didn’t end up on Mars.
With a thud they landed and he glanced outside.
“Um, we appear to be on Mars,” the Doctor said, looking at the scanner.
“Take. Me. Back,” Rory gritted out.
“No problem!” the Doctor cried, whirling around again and they went on another ride. “Right place this time.”
“Are you sure?”
“Spain, Earth, 879. Five minutes after we left. Stop doubting me.”
“We were just on Mars,” Rory said, running to the door and looking out.
“Right, well, fine, but I’m here now. And I’ve got a black eye,” the Doctor said, sounding and looking wounded. “And I’ve got a plan. With magnets.”
“Magnets?” Sarah-Jane asked.
“Magnets.”
“Uh, Doctor,” Rory said, “we’re literally sitting on top of the Pandorica and the army’s very much awake now.”
“I see,” the Doctor said, putting his head out. “Isn’t that lovely? I’m getting better and better.”
“Some might see this as a step back,” Sarah-Jane said, poking her head out between them.
“Here come the arrows,” Rory said, pushing them all back inside and slamming the door.
Several arrows thudded against the door where their heads had been.
“What’s your brilliant plan?” Sarah-Jane asked.
The Doctor was already back at the console, doing something that made Rory’s teeth hurt. And his teeth were plastic.
“An army can’t fight without weapons,” the Doctor said.
“An army is a weapon,” Rory said, peeking out the door again.
He saw shimmering in the air, like when it was hot out. The sky was getting lighter and he didn’t have to use his night vision anymore. The army’s men were all grasping at the ground as their armor appeared to lift itself into the air and attempt to fly toward the Tardis.
“I think that will rather take the fight out of them,” the Doctor said, sounding extremely satisfied with himself.
“You never do anything the same way twice, do you?” Rory asked.
“What would the fun in that be?” the Doctor said, flinging his scarf further around his neck and stepping out the door onto the surface of the Pandorica.
He waved at Rory and Sarah-Jane to join him.
Rory stepped out, adjusting his armor so he looked properly attired. He had a feeling he’d have been cast out of his old legion for the lack of care he took in his appearance these days.
“I believe you have the floor,” Sarah-Jane said, nudging him as the army all looked at them with slacked jaws, obviously disoriented and trying to keep their armor together.
Rory stepped forward, putting one hand on his sword. The men before him lifted their torches, illuminating him with a flickering glow in the pre-dawn light.
“Hear this now,” he cried out. “This Pandorica is considered sacred and holy. Any attempts to harm or open it will result in swift punishment. Do not test my words. You have been warned.” He turned and walked back into the Tardis. “Doctor, can the Tardis magnetize only the Pandorica?”
The Doctor and Sarah-Jane exchanged looks and came in after him.
“Yes.”
“Then I think the grand old sight of the Tardis flying the box out of here would be beautiful, don’t you?”
The Doctor smiled again.
“I like your mind, Rory Williams. Let’s give it a try.”
So the Pandorica flew again. This time by magnets or something that Rory didn’t really understand for all the books he’d read and the words the Doctor babbled. Or maybe it was really the same thing and the Doctor just didn’t want to admit it.
“I think this will do,” Rory said.
He’d never really surveyed it by air before, but he was very familiar with the layout of this entire continent and if his history - or the schedules he’d stolen - was serving him correctly - which it was very likely not to do - there would be a legion or an approximation of one - Rory remembered the real legions with something like pride and something like revulsion - due along this road at any time. They’d do very well for taking the box back and keeping it safe until Constantinople was sacked again.
The Doctor sat both boxes down with slightly more care than normal and Rory hopped off the Tardis.
“Goodbye, Sarah-Jane,” he said. “I’m glad to have met you.”
“Thank you,” Sarah-Jane said, giving him a one-sided hug.
“Until next time,” he told the Doctor. “Please, don’t forget to forget me.”
“If you insist,” the Doctor said, a little grumpily.
Sarah-Jane looked confused, but didn’t say anything.
Rory sat on the Pandorica and watched the Tardis dissipate into the air. He stretched out on his side and patted the box.
“Together again,” he said and rested for awhile.
When he heard the legion start to come, he’d get up and be properly, oracle-ly mysterious. But for now, he was going to rest. As much as plastic-ly possible.