DW Oneshot: My Secrets Become Your Truth
Title: My Secrets Become Your Truth
by Jesterlady
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Rory/Amy
Summary: After leaving the Twostreams Facility, Rory and the Doctor need to have a conversation before Amy wakes up.
Disclaimer: I don't own DW. Some lines are from the show. The title is from a song by Sara Bereilles
My Secrets Become Your Truth
“She’ll sleep for a little while longer,” the Doctor said, his gaze moving from Amy’s still form.
Rory nodded, not really thinking about it. He was too busy going
over the events of the last day and about thirty-six years. There were so many things he needed to think about and deal with, mostly involving the woman sleeping beside him and the one that didn’t now exist, but there were also a few things about the man he traveled with.
“About before, Doctor,” he said slowly, “when I said I didn’t want to travel with you.”
“Absolutely,” the Doctor cried, getting up and moving over to the
console. “Forget all about it. It’s washed up, done with, over.” He
started fiddling with the Tardis as he always seemed to do when he was
avoiding something. “I know! We need a treat, a really fabulous vacation spot. The moons of Delta Four! Why didn’t I think of that before? Splendid place, airy and just right for…everything.”
“Doctor,” Rory began. The Doctor ignored him and kept raving about Delta Four. “Doctor,” he tried again. Nothing. “Doctor!” he finally roared.
The Doctor stopped short and that must have been some anesthetic
the hand bots used because Amy didn’t wake up.
“No need to shout, I’m right here,” he said, resuming his
activity. “And you’re interrupting me. As I was saying-“
“Shut up,” Rory said, standing up and moving toward him. “Shut up and listen to me. You’re going to stand there and you’re not going to play with the Tardis and you’re going to listen to me. After what just
happened, you owe me that.”
The Doctor stopped and finally nodded.
“Okay, Rory, speak.”
Rory heaved a sigh and tried to figure out exactly what he did want to
say. So many things were rushing around in his head.
“I don’t mean that I don’t like traveling with you. I love it. It’s
exciting and wonderful, but it’s dangerous and I’ve died so many times.”
Rory stopped and swallowed, he could barely speak. “And…now Amy’s died.
Amy has died. I never really cared if you let it happen to me so
long as I came back, but now Amy-“ he broke off, swallowing a sob.
And he couldn't go on. He just stood there, feeling broken and foolish,
hating that he was falling apart like this in front of the Doctor. Then he felt arms around him and he clutched at the tweed jacket and buried his head in the chest of the man he was angry with. The Doctor rubbed his back and Rory let out hoarse sobs as he mourned for a woman he’d loved all his life and only about an hour.
“That’s right,” the Doctor said soothingly. “You can weep, Rory. It’s
okay to cry. I deserve that, I deserve it all. It wasn’t fair. I’m
sorry. I’m sorry.”
Eventually Rory couldn’t cry anymore and he pulled back, wiping at his face with the back of his sleeve.
“I’m sorry,” he said a bit stiffly.
“Quite all right,” the Doctor said. “Now, do I still need to listen to
something else?”
Rory wanted to punch him, but he didn’t.
“I understand,” Rory said. “I know who you are. You’re the man who makes all the decisions, who has to decide who lives and who dies. The person who knows all the rules and has to live with them. I think you’re amazing but I would never want to be you. I can’t imagine what that is like and I’m sorry for you. You hide behind your little boy façade so people can’t see how much you care, how much it hurts to do the right thing. It’s just…I never thought Amy would be the one to suffer for it. I figured that the rest of the world was up for grabs, but never Amy. I know you love her, I know it,” he said firmly.
“Rory, it’s not a matter of love,” the Doctor said, and started striding
around the Tardis as if the effort of holding still for so long was too
much for him to bear. Perhaps it was. “Oh, Rory, you horrible human.
I’ve never met another one like you and it frustrates me to no end.” He
put his hand through his hair and continued ranting. “You come in here and you don’t get impressed when I’m being clever and you ask so many questions and they’re always right and you can see things, so so many things I don’t want seen. Amy doesn’t see them, she just wants the adventure, she has the blind faith, but you want the core, you want the meat of me and I don’t have it to give. I just don’t. You don’t even realize you’re important, you think I just have to have her. But I can’t give you up either, I have to keep both of you and I know it’s dangerous and I know it’s selfish, but I’m just an old man with bad habits I can’t break. It doesn’t matter if I love you silly humans, I have to follow those rules.”
“I know,” Rory said, though he was reeling a bit from what the Doctor had
said. The Doctor was complaining about him and lauding him at the same
time and it was terribly confusing.
“That’s the whole problem,” the Doctor said and turned to face
him. Rory took a step back at the wildness in the man’s eyes. “You see
too much, Rory Williams.”
“I can’t help it either,” Rory said. “That’s who I am. You want
Amy, you get me, that’s the package deal.”
“I want you both, weren’t you listening, you thick person,” the
Doctor said, sounding incredibly tired. “And I’m sorry. I forget
sometimes how old you are.”
“Older than you,” Rory said.
“Well, we’ll just have to be old together then,” the Doctor said. “We could get canes. Canes are cool. But you’re right, Rory, it’s too dangerous for you here. And the time is coming; I sense it, oh, so very close, when we won’t be standing here like this anymore. I have to give you up. I have to let you go. I just can’t do it yet. We need at least one more adventure, eh?” he said, the manic fire coming back into his face. “We’ll go somewhere spectacular and we’ll find marvelous things and be absolutely brilliant.”
“Doctor,” Rory said and then sighed. Sometimes there was no
point. “I don’t want to go just yet, but…just know that I’m ready to go if that makes sense. You don’t need to say goodbye to me. This is our
goodbye. Whenever that point comes, I’ll know and I’ll be fine. Just…you promise me you will say goodbye to her. You won’t go off and leave Amy waiting for you again. You won’t take that away from her, because she won’t understand like I do unless you tell her, unless you explain.”
The Doctor looked at Rory for a moment.
“Just think,” he said, “Amy spent thirty-six years waiting for me, but she punched through space and time for you. I can well see why.”
“Promise me,” Rory said firmly, pushing away the Doctor’s words to think about later.
The Doctor hugged him again and Rory put his arms around the alien, feeling the wet spots from his own tears, and taking deep breaths.
“I promise,” the Doctor said and pulled back.
“And are you lying to me?” Rory asked. “I knew you lied, that was obvious from the start, but I never thought you’d lie to her. I always thought she was the one safe from that danger.”
“I lied for her,” the Doctor said. “And I’m not lying now.”
“I don’t know if I can quite believe you,” Rory said. “But just
know we’re not as fragile as you think we are. We can make hard decisions too. She made one today and now she’s dead.”
“I know,” the Doctor said. “You both proved that today and I
couldn’t be sorrier.”
“Perhaps you could,” Rory said.
“I’ll tell her,” the Doctor said and then moved his gaze back to
Amy across the room. “She’ll wake now. I’ll leave you two alone.”
Rory nodded, not really trusting himself to speak.
The Doctor moved to leave and then turned back around, smiling,
just waiting.
Rory felt confused, but he didn’t ask.
“Have you got a mirror?” he asked instead, smiling himself. “I
probably look like hell.”
“You’ve been to hell,” the Doctor said. “And you’ll tell her,
you’ll tell her well. And just think that perhaps one day when you two can laugh about today you could drop casually into the conversation that
waiting one thousand eight hundred and ninety four years most definitely
tops thirty-six.” He stopped at the look on Rory’s face. “No? Well, yes, probably no. I wouldn’t say that. In fact, don’t even think it in case that’s the day Amy suddenly develops telepathy. Very bad if she hears that. And it wasn’t my idea. You made the whole thing up.”
“Get out of here, Doctor,” Rory said wearily, but he smiled at him.
The Doctor stuck his tongue out and left the room.
Amy stirred and Rory got down on his knees beside her, grasping her hand.
“You all right?” he asked. “How are you feeling?”
She nodded, looking around.
“Where is she?”
Rory froze for one second, inwardly panicking. He didn’t know the right words.
“Not here. Amy, I have to tell you a story.”
“What happened?” Amy said, sitting upright.
“We let her die,” Rory said quietly, feeling another tear fall from his eye. He’d thought he hadn’t any left, but he was wrong. “The Doctor. You and I. We let her die.”
“Tell me everything,” Amy said, putting her hand on his face.
by Jesterlady
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Rory/Amy
Summary: After leaving the Twostreams Facility, Rory and the Doctor need to have a conversation before Amy wakes up.
Disclaimer: I don't own DW. Some lines are from the show. The title is from a song by Sara Bereilles
My Secrets Become Your Truth
“She’ll sleep for a little while longer,” the Doctor said, his gaze moving from Amy’s still form.
Rory nodded, not really thinking about it. He was too busy going
over the events of the last day and about thirty-six years. There were so many things he needed to think about and deal with, mostly involving the woman sleeping beside him and the one that didn’t now exist, but there were also a few things about the man he traveled with.
“About before, Doctor,” he said slowly, “when I said I didn’t want to travel with you.”
“Absolutely,” the Doctor cried, getting up and moving over to the
console. “Forget all about it. It’s washed up, done with, over.” He
started fiddling with the Tardis as he always seemed to do when he was
avoiding something. “I know! We need a treat, a really fabulous vacation spot. The moons of Delta Four! Why didn’t I think of that before? Splendid place, airy and just right for…everything.”
“Doctor,” Rory began. The Doctor ignored him and kept raving about Delta Four. “Doctor,” he tried again. Nothing. “Doctor!” he finally roared.
The Doctor stopped short and that must have been some anesthetic
the hand bots used because Amy didn’t wake up.
“No need to shout, I’m right here,” he said, resuming his
activity. “And you’re interrupting me. As I was saying-“
“Shut up,” Rory said, standing up and moving toward him. “Shut up and listen to me. You’re going to stand there and you’re not going to play with the Tardis and you’re going to listen to me. After what just
happened, you owe me that.”
The Doctor stopped and finally nodded.
“Okay, Rory, speak.”
Rory heaved a sigh and tried to figure out exactly what he did want to
say. So many things were rushing around in his head.
“I don’t mean that I don’t like traveling with you. I love it. It’s
exciting and wonderful, but it’s dangerous and I’ve died so many times.”
Rory stopped and swallowed, he could barely speak. “And…now Amy’s died.
Amy has died. I never really cared if you let it happen to me so
long as I came back, but now Amy-“ he broke off, swallowing a sob.
And he couldn't go on. He just stood there, feeling broken and foolish,
hating that he was falling apart like this in front of the Doctor. Then he felt arms around him and he clutched at the tweed jacket and buried his head in the chest of the man he was angry with. The Doctor rubbed his back and Rory let out hoarse sobs as he mourned for a woman he’d loved all his life and only about an hour.
“That’s right,” the Doctor said soothingly. “You can weep, Rory. It’s
okay to cry. I deserve that, I deserve it all. It wasn’t fair. I’m
sorry. I’m sorry.”
Eventually Rory couldn’t cry anymore and he pulled back, wiping at his face with the back of his sleeve.
“I’m sorry,” he said a bit stiffly.
“Quite all right,” the Doctor said. “Now, do I still need to listen to
something else?”
Rory wanted to punch him, but he didn’t.
“I understand,” Rory said. “I know who you are. You’re the man who makes all the decisions, who has to decide who lives and who dies. The person who knows all the rules and has to live with them. I think you’re amazing but I would never want to be you. I can’t imagine what that is like and I’m sorry for you. You hide behind your little boy façade so people can’t see how much you care, how much it hurts to do the right thing. It’s just…I never thought Amy would be the one to suffer for it. I figured that the rest of the world was up for grabs, but never Amy. I know you love her, I know it,” he said firmly.
“Rory, it’s not a matter of love,” the Doctor said, and started striding
around the Tardis as if the effort of holding still for so long was too
much for him to bear. Perhaps it was. “Oh, Rory, you horrible human.
I’ve never met another one like you and it frustrates me to no end.” He
put his hand through his hair and continued ranting. “You come in here and you don’t get impressed when I’m being clever and you ask so many questions and they’re always right and you can see things, so so many things I don’t want seen. Amy doesn’t see them, she just wants the adventure, she has the blind faith, but you want the core, you want the meat of me and I don’t have it to give. I just don’t. You don’t even realize you’re important, you think I just have to have her. But I can’t give you up either, I have to keep both of you and I know it’s dangerous and I know it’s selfish, but I’m just an old man with bad habits I can’t break. It doesn’t matter if I love you silly humans, I have to follow those rules.”
“I know,” Rory said, though he was reeling a bit from what the Doctor had
said. The Doctor was complaining about him and lauding him at the same
time and it was terribly confusing.
“That’s the whole problem,” the Doctor said and turned to face
him. Rory took a step back at the wildness in the man’s eyes. “You see
too much, Rory Williams.”
“I can’t help it either,” Rory said. “That’s who I am. You want
Amy, you get me, that’s the package deal.”
“I want you both, weren’t you listening, you thick person,” the
Doctor said, sounding incredibly tired. “And I’m sorry. I forget
sometimes how old you are.”
“Older than you,” Rory said.
“Well, we’ll just have to be old together then,” the Doctor said. “We could get canes. Canes are cool. But you’re right, Rory, it’s too dangerous for you here. And the time is coming; I sense it, oh, so very close, when we won’t be standing here like this anymore. I have to give you up. I have to let you go. I just can’t do it yet. We need at least one more adventure, eh?” he said, the manic fire coming back into his face. “We’ll go somewhere spectacular and we’ll find marvelous things and be absolutely brilliant.”
“Doctor,” Rory said and then sighed. Sometimes there was no
point. “I don’t want to go just yet, but…just know that I’m ready to go if that makes sense. You don’t need to say goodbye to me. This is our
goodbye. Whenever that point comes, I’ll know and I’ll be fine. Just…you promise me you will say goodbye to her. You won’t go off and leave Amy waiting for you again. You won’t take that away from her, because she won’t understand like I do unless you tell her, unless you explain.”
The Doctor looked at Rory for a moment.
“Just think,” he said, “Amy spent thirty-six years waiting for me, but she punched through space and time for you. I can well see why.”
“Promise me,” Rory said firmly, pushing away the Doctor’s words to think about later.
The Doctor hugged him again and Rory put his arms around the alien, feeling the wet spots from his own tears, and taking deep breaths.
“I promise,” the Doctor said and pulled back.
“And are you lying to me?” Rory asked. “I knew you lied, that was obvious from the start, but I never thought you’d lie to her. I always thought she was the one safe from that danger.”
“I lied for her,” the Doctor said. “And I’m not lying now.”
“I don’t know if I can quite believe you,” Rory said. “But just
know we’re not as fragile as you think we are. We can make hard decisions too. She made one today and now she’s dead.”
“I know,” the Doctor said. “You both proved that today and I
couldn’t be sorrier.”
“Perhaps you could,” Rory said.
“I’ll tell her,” the Doctor said and then moved his gaze back to
Amy across the room. “She’ll wake now. I’ll leave you two alone.”
Rory nodded, not really trusting himself to speak.
The Doctor moved to leave and then turned back around, smiling,
just waiting.
Rory felt confused, but he didn’t ask.
“Have you got a mirror?” he asked instead, smiling himself. “I
probably look like hell.”
“You’ve been to hell,” the Doctor said. “And you’ll tell her,
you’ll tell her well. And just think that perhaps one day when you two can laugh about today you could drop casually into the conversation that
waiting one thousand eight hundred and ninety four years most definitely
tops thirty-six.” He stopped at the look on Rory’s face. “No? Well, yes, probably no. I wouldn’t say that. In fact, don’t even think it in case that’s the day Amy suddenly develops telepathy. Very bad if she hears that. And it wasn’t my idea. You made the whole thing up.”
“Get out of here, Doctor,” Rory said wearily, but he smiled at him.
The Doctor stuck his tongue out and left the room.
Amy stirred and Rory got down on his knees beside her, grasping her hand.
“You all right?” he asked. “How are you feeling?”
She nodded, looking around.
“Where is she?”
Rory froze for one second, inwardly panicking. He didn’t know the right words.
“Not here. Amy, I have to tell you a story.”
“What happened?” Amy said, sitting upright.
“We let her die,” Rory said quietly, feeling another tear fall from his eye. He’d thought he hadn’t any left, but he was wrong. “The Doctor. You and I. We let her die.”
“Tell me everything,” Amy said, putting her hand on his face.