Journal
Well shit. In an attempt to further stave off depression Brittany and I have decided to journal on a more regular basis. I'm not sure if it'll work but there are certainly other benefits to doing so. Anyway where do I start? My last journal entry was 5 years ago. So as one might expect my life has changed. It's hard knowing you are depressed because then you feel like you should do something about the problem but realllllyyyy don't want to... so then you feel shittier. It isn't as bad as it used to be. Having 2 kids and a wife will take up more time than you'd think. But it's hard. I feel tired, I feel lazy, I feel shitty. God.
How do I start digging myself out again? Fake it till you make it? Just keep writing this till it feels like sunny days? Man, I sound like an angsty teenager. Point is I want out of this veil, this film and I am doing something about it. So fuck you depression.
I think it may have been stupid to choose LiveJournal to use as my journal. So many memories of life/lives past. And also I get to read my retarded ramblings from 5-9 years ago. And that is why I'm doing this again. So I can find this retarded entry in a few years and shake my head and say "Good lord I was dumb"
I've got a good job now future me! I have a house, and a wife and kids so fuck you!
Ugh. That reminds me. I've got to apply for a different job so I can get an offer and see what I'm worth. The job would have me traveling a shit ton but apparently I would make a shit ton of cash? I don't know. We will see. Its odd that I still try and avoid responsibility even though I keep acquiring more comfortably. Apparently I can't spell for shit. Every other word is underlined. I am not at all satisfied with this entry. But maybe it helped.
Time to start Ender's bed time routine.