Today
Hm.. I'd like to start off with telling about what i did today.. nothing. in hopes of a phone call from someone to talk, since it seemed so important yesterday. Apparently, I am the most gullible idiot of all time. And I'd like to apologize to those forced to be involved in that stupid drama bullshit that I don't need. I'd like to formally apologize to someone whom I made to go Denny's with me while I was laughing/crying once again. (for those of you who don't know what that is.. Its me, after someone asks me whats wrong, and I start crying, and then laughing because there's no reason for tears). But after a few cups of coffee, and some nice lil dicussion, I am back into the mindset I had last week. Your not worth my time, because I may have TALKED about it, but you actually DID it. Your not worth my tears, because you had your chance, and now I need to move on to bigger and better things. The one good thing is that you reunited Laura and I. I'm sorry to those who I've talked to about this since.. what was it? September? And you all told me to give up, because its not worth it. I didn't beleive you. I'm sorry that I didn't take ALL of your advice, since many of you gave me the same advice. You won't be hearing me complain about it anymore. I'm sure the right guy is out there for me. He just has to find me.
And to you(you know who you are) I'm sorry that I didn't talk to you about whats bothering me. No matter what you think, I feel like you don't listen/care about what I have to say. About my feelings, about my life, about me. I mean, I know you care about me, but you never listen to me. You always bring it back to your life, your problems. I understand that no ones life is easy, but it'd be nice to have you listen to me for once. Let me bitch about the same thing life I do Britta or Laura. I feel that you put your significant other of the time before me. I know you thought I did this when Jared and I got together. But you did the same when you and your last boy got together. Remember when I came to visit you my senior year? I played the 3rd wheel the whole time. Did I complain at all? no. You know that I've been upset about stuff lately, and just wanted to go out and party, but you couldn't.. for this reason or another, you were sleeping, or you were with her. Its not that I'm not happy for you, its just that I needed you to go be stupid crazy "that drunk girl" with me. And you couldn't.. or wouldn't. It hurt and still does. I feel like you've ditched me several times. And when I try to talk about me, you bring it back to you every single time. I know you've been there for me in the past, which makes me think that you can in the future. It just sucks that its like I'm only allowed to break down once in a while, while you can all the time. When we went to eastcampus, I did a bad thing, which you know very little about, but I wanted to talk to you about it, I wanted to tell you everything, but you couldn't stop talking about you, and didn't seem to care at all that I was torn up inside. I don't know what else to say. But I'm sorry.
and Elyse, I'm sorry you've been worrying about me. I know you can sense when something is wrong with me. And I can't wait for you and me to hang out.. March just seems so far away. I wish you could move up to Michigan! I love you, and I'm so glad that we're still friends after tour and a year. You helped make summer 04 one of the best summers of my life. Your the best. I heart you, and this is for you:
Thank you Lord, for the togetherness and friendship we share. For the members of the corps and for the corps itself Instill in us the true spirit of competition, taking the pain of losing and the joy of winning and all with a smile. Remind us Lord, that by doing our very best at all times, we WILL have a winning corps.
I may not be all up in the God stuff, but that speaks to me more than anything in the world. Because your not only a friend, your my family. Competition is what we all live for, or we wouldn't love the activity, and winning in life, takes friends, no matter what happens, we're all winners because we survive. and we have people who care about us. But you only have to worry about you getting healthy now. Not me. I love you, and miss you. And if you ever feel down, remember JMH waking us up every morning. Remember me you and Elaine sleeping against the wall at every place. Remember the free days. Remember everydays. Remember the good times, where we all hated John Michael Hines, and Roman, and parts of the staff. And remember that no matter what, corps will always be your family, your crutch, and your friends.
Britta- I appreciate all the bullshit I've put you through. I'm so glad that Emily got us to be friends, and we turned against her. Thank you for always being there for me, when I'm crying/laughing and having mental breakdowns because I'm so clueless about my life. Thank you for listening to me at all times of the night when you need to get shit done. I'm sorry for bitching at you so often, and I'm sorry for slightly dragging you into my bullshit. Your the best roommate anyone could ever ask for (aaawww!) but for real 'are you seriously asking that question?' 'no' lol! you crazy chica. i heart you.
And to you(you know who you are) I'm sorry that I didn't talk to you about whats bothering me. No matter what you think, I feel like you don't listen/care about what I have to say. About my feelings, about my life, about me. I mean, I know you care about me, but you never listen to me. You always bring it back to your life, your problems. I understand that no ones life is easy, but it'd be nice to have you listen to me for once. Let me bitch about the same thing life I do Britta or Laura. I feel that you put your significant other of the time before me. I know you thought I did this when Jared and I got together. But you did the same when you and your last boy got together. Remember when I came to visit you my senior year? I played the 3rd wheel the whole time. Did I complain at all? no. You know that I've been upset about stuff lately, and just wanted to go out and party, but you couldn't.. for this reason or another, you were sleeping, or you were with her. Its not that I'm not happy for you, its just that I needed you to go be stupid crazy "that drunk girl" with me. And you couldn't.. or wouldn't. It hurt and still does. I feel like you've ditched me several times. And when I try to talk about me, you bring it back to you every single time. I know you've been there for me in the past, which makes me think that you can in the future. It just sucks that its like I'm only allowed to break down once in a while, while you can all the time. When we went to eastcampus, I did a bad thing, which you know very little about, but I wanted to talk to you about it, I wanted to tell you everything, but you couldn't stop talking about you, and didn't seem to care at all that I was torn up inside. I don't know what else to say. But I'm sorry.
and Elyse, I'm sorry you've been worrying about me. I know you can sense when something is wrong with me. And I can't wait for you and me to hang out.. March just seems so far away. I wish you could move up to Michigan! I love you, and I'm so glad that we're still friends after tour and a year. You helped make summer 04 one of the best summers of my life. Your the best. I heart you, and this is for you:
Thank you Lord, for the togetherness and friendship we share. For the members of the corps and for the corps itself Instill in us the true spirit of competition, taking the pain of losing and the joy of winning and all with a smile. Remind us Lord, that by doing our very best at all times, we WILL have a winning corps.
I may not be all up in the God stuff, but that speaks to me more than anything in the world. Because your not only a friend, your my family. Competition is what we all live for, or we wouldn't love the activity, and winning in life, takes friends, no matter what happens, we're all winners because we survive. and we have people who care about us. But you only have to worry about you getting healthy now. Not me. I love you, and miss you. And if you ever feel down, remember JMH waking us up every morning. Remember me you and Elaine sleeping against the wall at every place. Remember the free days. Remember everydays. Remember the good times, where we all hated John Michael Hines, and Roman, and parts of the staff. And remember that no matter what, corps will always be your family, your crutch, and your friends.
Britta- I appreciate all the bullshit I've put you through. I'm so glad that Emily got us to be friends, and we turned against her. Thank you for always being there for me, when I'm crying/laughing and having mental breakdowns because I'm so clueless about my life. Thank you for listening to me at all times of the night when you need to get shit done. I'm sorry for bitching at you so often, and I'm sorry for slightly dragging you into my bullshit. Your the best roommate anyone could ever ask for (aaawww!) but for real 'are you seriously asking that question?' 'no' lol! you crazy chica. i heart you.