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[jessucrebel]

i am at school at the moment, it's a boring day and i am pretty wide awake because i actually went to bed early, though i feel bad for it because allen was to call. :/ i have not been such a good girlfriend lately but i just couldn't deal with everything last night. my mum started yelling at me for no reason and i just starting crying, i have no clue why, i guess her yelling just got to me. usually i can be like "yeah fuck off" or "why are you complaining" but i just sat there wondering what i had done. she was just like "you, you are the problem" and i just sort of couldn't take it any longer and just cried then i went to bed...:/ when i woke up i knew i had probably upset allen, again. ._. I don't want him to wait for me all the time and then get upset again. but i did agree to his calling and i really looked forward to it, i miss his voice and just talking to him on the phone...;.; Hmph. i just want to curl up in a wittle ball today and die...i'll be away from the comp for another two months, this tim e i am moving. x.x;; i hate life and it's stupid pathes and it's stupid problems. :/ i prayed to God last night. ._. I wonder if he even listened...i keep doubting everything i do now, except allen i don't doubt him and i want to be with him forever but i just keep hurting him :/

ugh.

anyway, i just want to say i hate john david casteel and i am going to ressurect my hit list and add him to it along with a bitch named Jopelle, not her real name but still she just needs to die. --;; *shakes* w elp i am out of here, i love you allen..

-jessica¸l