Three Years
Wow, so it's been three years since I went full time. Quite a nice milestone in itself for me but this particular anniversary also marks three years of estrogen which supposedly means I've reached full maturity... So how do I feel three years later?
Well emotionaly, obviously, still great. Coming out made my life infinitely better. It's so right to be known as Jessica, I don't know if I can explain it quite right to people who are not trans but it just means so much. of course, my life and emotional state hasn't been the best lately but it stills blows away the emptyness I felt three years ago.
So how do I feel about my body after hormones now that the changes are mostly over? Fairly happy. My legs are more shapely, my body hair is much less pronounced, my butt is MUCH bigger!!! *blushing* which I actually kinda like 'cause I think it's a rather feminine feature. I have the barest hint of hips. My skin is just so much softer than I ever thought possible- and it was always pretty soft. My face, my muscle tone, everything is just a touch more feminine. It's not perfect, I'm no model, but it does make the differance between being a guy in drag and being a nice young woman. And last but not least, my breats. How can I describe the feeling that I get from them? Certainly erotic but that's just a small part. They're such a huge part of what it means to be a woman (don't freak out ladies, I'm only talking physically here) such a symbol of the feminine... I love them. What can I say? lol The best word is NORMAL. I feel like a normal girl. It's nice to dress for work in the morning and pull on a bra as a matter of course rather than it being a big production with padding and adjusting straps and biting my lips hoping nobody notices the tissue paper... that was an awkward phase to say the least. Of course they're not that big and I now know they're about as big as they're ever gonna get and I'm mostly OK with that. I can't say that the thought of implants doesn't still tempt me on occaision but really they're enough. The size of my body makes them seam smaller than they are I think but I figure I'm not the first girl to worry that my breasts aren't big enough. lol
So three years down. As I approach the fourth year another milestone is on the horizon. I'm putting down a $500 non-refundable deposit for my surgery. I have commitments from my grandparents for the $16k loan I'll need so come hell or high water this time next year I'll have had my surgery and hopefully I can put this whole tranny buisness in the back of my mind and get on with my life. Here's to another year and hoping it goes by quickly! :)
Well emotionaly, obviously, still great. Coming out made my life infinitely better. It's so right to be known as Jessica, I don't know if I can explain it quite right to people who are not trans but it just means so much. of course, my life and emotional state hasn't been the best lately but it stills blows away the emptyness I felt three years ago.
So how do I feel about my body after hormones now that the changes are mostly over? Fairly happy. My legs are more shapely, my body hair is much less pronounced, my butt is MUCH bigger!!! *blushing* which I actually kinda like 'cause I think it's a rather feminine feature. I have the barest hint of hips. My skin is just so much softer than I ever thought possible- and it was always pretty soft. My face, my muscle tone, everything is just a touch more feminine. It's not perfect, I'm no model, but it does make the differance between being a guy in drag and being a nice young woman. And last but not least, my breats. How can I describe the feeling that I get from them? Certainly erotic but that's just a small part. They're such a huge part of what it means to be a woman (don't freak out ladies, I'm only talking physically here) such a symbol of the feminine... I love them. What can I say? lol The best word is NORMAL. I feel like a normal girl. It's nice to dress for work in the morning and pull on a bra as a matter of course rather than it being a big production with padding and adjusting straps and biting my lips hoping nobody notices the tissue paper... that was an awkward phase to say the least. Of course they're not that big and I now know they're about as big as they're ever gonna get and I'm mostly OK with that. I can't say that the thought of implants doesn't still tempt me on occaision but really they're enough. The size of my body makes them seam smaller than they are I think but I figure I'm not the first girl to worry that my breasts aren't big enough. lol
So three years down. As I approach the fourth year another milestone is on the horizon. I'm putting down a $500 non-refundable deposit for my surgery. I have commitments from my grandparents for the $16k loan I'll need so come hell or high water this time next year I'll have had my surgery and hopefully I can put this whole tranny buisness in the back of my mind and get on with my life. Here's to another year and hoping it goes by quickly! :)