(no subject)
Yeah so everybody's life is getten better, as mine is slowly deteriating. I hate it. It's always been like this for me. When is it MY turn to be happy and actually like the life I have? All of my friends lives are A LOT better than mine. My family's lives are A LOT better than mine. I hate it. I really do. Some times I wish that I could move to a different state and start over. Or sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if I was born to some one else, or what it would be like if I was never born at all. I know this entry sounds selfish, but you know-every once in a while you have to be to get what you want. Don't get me wrong I'm happy for all of my friends and family whose lives are better or that are getten better. It's just that I'm jealous b/c my life has always sucked. It really has. Yeah, there were some good times but all of those came to and end. And even then, part of my life sucked. I just wish that I can finally have a better life. Yes I know, it's gotten a little better than what it has before, but that's only b/c of a death and it's so sad that a death in the family can make your life a little better. And it sucks that it takes a death to make it better. Especially if the death is one of your parents. And some times I wonder what my life would be like if my mom would have had died instead of my dad... I wonder if it would be better than it is now or worse.... I just wish that some thing would change. I don't care what. Just some thing to make me feel better about my self and my life. B/c I truly do hate the life I have. It sucks...