(no subject)
i know i have been MIA for a little while now, but i am alive, i was just ignoring the world for a while, because i thought it was the best thing for me to do. but i am doing better now. not terrific, it will probably be awhile until i am more than ok or mostly good. but i am ok with that right now. i think i had a huge change in mood/outlook this past weekend when i went for an impromtu visit with mike and steph, which was only supposed to be for 2 days but turned into a wednesday night-sunday night trip, and i got to see abby, which was nice, and met her roommates. and then i met steph's work friends who are very cool. and i hung out with mike and pat a lot and set coins on fire on the table and that was awesome, and pretty much a fun time that i needed to reclaim...me. to know that i really want to live down there and to again feel like i am somewhat ready for that. i mean not entirely because who is ever ready to go and join the real world? you can be somewhat ready but when the time comes i know i will still have some sort of hesitation, but it is much less now. so anyway i am better now.
there are things i wish were different, some situations i would like to change, and they may change in teh future, they may not. i don't know. and while i am not ok with not knowing, i understand the importance of this phase, because only in this phase can i figure out what i really want, and then do something about it. and i know i want to be in baltimore, so i have started to look at other ways to be there, and i found a grad program at UM that would give me a MA and a PhD in criminal justice and criminology, so i am taking the GREs in march so i can apply to that program. law school is still up in the air, and i have another civil service test to take next week for the department of revenue. so we will see what shakes out in the end.
but for now, for those of you that care, know i am doing better. much better comparitivly in fact. that i am looking forward to the next time i get to go hang in baltimore, and when steph's friend's take me out. and that i have resurfaced, so yeah. i'm not dead, i'm doing better. and that's about it.
there are things i wish were different, some situations i would like to change, and they may change in teh future, they may not. i don't know. and while i am not ok with not knowing, i understand the importance of this phase, because only in this phase can i figure out what i really want, and then do something about it. and i know i want to be in baltimore, so i have started to look at other ways to be there, and i found a grad program at UM that would give me a MA and a PhD in criminal justice and criminology, so i am taking the GREs in march so i can apply to that program. law school is still up in the air, and i have another civil service test to take next week for the department of revenue. so we will see what shakes out in the end.
but for now, for those of you that care, know i am doing better. much better comparitivly in fact. that i am looking forward to the next time i get to go hang in baltimore, and when steph's friend's take me out. and that i have resurfaced, so yeah. i'm not dead, i'm doing better. and that's about it.