sadness
I am very frustrated with my relationship right now. It is not great anymore. Was it ever? I asked everett to think of great things about our relationship and he wanted me to name a few and I couldnt think of any. The only things I can think of right now is that we both love old trucks, nature, mountain biking, outdoors, we dream together, we are totally attracted to each other, we want each other. But this is a long distance relationship, and he is sounding like he has lost a lot of hope for us. And that makes me really sad that instead of looking for solutions he is looking for reasons why we arent going to work out. I want to be the strong woman he needs, to laugh at things and to fulfill all the dreams we had for each other. Maybe now is not our time? Maybe I need that soldier that will treat me wrong. But Everett is not treating me right either. And I've built my life so much around him I dont have a life here anymore and I know I will sink into a deep depression if we break up now. And we were going to go to the beach the last week of July and see how that went. Something just doesnt feel right today.