ack
why is seeing someone so complicated? i dont understand how liking a person always happen to change so much! i hate it! im not meant to act the way im acting.... i worry about everything! which is funny as hell because when im the person giving advice to someone elses situation i am a total hardass but when its me in those shoes i become as big of a moron as everyone else... i wish i could just pretend that i dont care! like nothing really matters and just have a good time... but noooooooooo! instead i worry about whats happening next... if he still likes me... if im doing anything wrong. *throws up everywhere* soooo gross acting like that... so when we are together you can tell my mind is going 100 miles a minute with stupid thoughts and he asks "what are you thinking?" and i answer "nothing..." yet somehow he can see through me... what sucks more is that i cant see through him at all!!!!! i hate it i hate when i cant read a person it kills me! i had to wake him up this morning.. know what sucks hes like me... in the sense where hes somewhat dry when it comes to affection... and i know ::sighs:: that we are supposed to only be talking... but i dont know its like i feel hes gonna get over it... and i havent had a chance to really "talk" to him . we are supposed to hang out alone on sunday... providing this hurricane doesnt kill everyone. god forbid. whatever.. im secretly losing weight... and whats funny is if things dont go as planned with him I will continue to lose weight just despite him! hah! anyway lets try and not be so negative... cause i sorta like the nerd =( even if he is a yo.