the river
yesterday was awesome. after church me brit jenn mar and cooley went to logan's. it was so good to see brit. i missed her so much. it was just like old times. we might get an apt together. which would be awesome. i wanna move out so bad. after logans i went home and took a nap then cody called and he came over and we went to cheddars. it was so good. delicious. then we wanted to do something so we just drove around and ended up near the river, so we stopped and sat down by the river forever. it was awesome. i had never just gone down there with someone and chilled. the cityscape was beautiful. and being with cody just laying there talking was amazing. it is so awesome that i can talk to him about anything and he actually knows how he feels and tells me. most guys dont know how to do that and its so annoying. then we came home and just chilled outside and played with the dogs. then at midnight my dad yelled at me to go to bed. boo. then cody left and i went inside and he yelled at me some more. boo. hes a jerk sometimes. anyway, despite that, yesterday was an awesome awesome day.
something is wrong with my mom. i dont know what it is. i think she's depressed. i love her so much. after all i have put her through, she will still do anything for me. it makes me feel so bad. i hate it that shes in pain all the time. ITS NOT FAIR. she doesnt deserve to have this pain she's had for almost her whole life. i wish i could go through her pain for her. i wish God would just give it to me. so that she can be pain free for at least a day. she is the sweetest most caring person you will ever meet. she will never start a fight, she wont confront you if you talk about her, she does everything she can to please God daily. i admire her so much. i resent her sometimes, but i dont have a right to. she is just trying to protect me. plus im the firstborn. i just want my freedom. she worries about me constantly. i wish she didnt. it kills me that i am part of the reason she is probably depressed. its my fault. it makes me wanna cry. but im not going to.
tonight im supposed to go to the waterfront to watch cody play football. i dont really wanna go. i like watching football and being with cody but i will get so many bug bites sitting on the grass. at the river last night i got like 10 just on my hands and feet. ugh. i hate bugs! my brother rented the ring 2. i might watch it tonight. after i do my shitload of homework. and after my nap.
im off.
final thought: since i started this diary my typing skills have improved substantially.
something is wrong with my mom. i dont know what it is. i think she's depressed. i love her so much. after all i have put her through, she will still do anything for me. it makes me feel so bad. i hate it that shes in pain all the time. ITS NOT FAIR. she doesnt deserve to have this pain she's had for almost her whole life. i wish i could go through her pain for her. i wish God would just give it to me. so that she can be pain free for at least a day. she is the sweetest most caring person you will ever meet. she will never start a fight, she wont confront you if you talk about her, she does everything she can to please God daily. i admire her so much. i resent her sometimes, but i dont have a right to. she is just trying to protect me. plus im the firstborn. i just want my freedom. she worries about me constantly. i wish she didnt. it kills me that i am part of the reason she is probably depressed. its my fault. it makes me wanna cry. but im not going to.
tonight im supposed to go to the waterfront to watch cody play football. i dont really wanna go. i like watching football and being with cody but i will get so many bug bites sitting on the grass. at the river last night i got like 10 just on my hands and feet. ugh. i hate bugs! my brother rented the ring 2. i might watch it tonight. after i do my shitload of homework. and after my nap.
im off.
final thought: since i started this diary my typing skills have improved substantially.