I don't understand....

[jessimaka]

I do something nice, and the night turns out twice as bad as it would have been originally. I don't get it, I try to do good and things manage to basically fuck themselves up (with my permission I guess), I don't know how to avoid them. My head is killing me and there is nothing that I an do about it and no one who cares enough to attempt to console me. I guess I'm just a big baby, but I really do need someone to tell me that "things are going to be okay", and "your head will feel better in a little while." Baby talk for a baby I guess...Maybe if I went out of my way to screw things up, and TRIED to have a bad night then things would turn out nicely with no yelling or crying...Probably not, that would make too much sense...

In my life, I think that I could have filled an olympic sized swimming pool full of tears....Mabye I'm just a big fucking baby, or maybe, I've just been given too much to cry about...