Friends
There are some people in this life who amaze me. They amaze me with selflessness. With friendship which defies typical human interests and motivations. It blows me away and I don't know what to do or say in return, besides thank you. I am not used to getting something without giving in return, or having gave of myself in the first place.
I don't know if many people know this, but I don't let many people 'in'. I 'learned' at an early age to be guarded. Situations led me to build a wall around myself with those in my life. Besides my family, no one really knew 'me' and I was damn sure not to make myself vulnerable to anyone or show my fears or faults.
Well, life isn't perfect and I am surely not perfect. Situations I created or were created for me from time to time have left me at the mercy of certain people in my life. I say mercy not in a bad light, but in a thankful, alien one. Like I said, I usually don't let many people in, but to be altruistically treated by others leaves me at a loss for what to do or say, besides thank you. When you have nothing to offer in return and still recieve love and kindness, it's inspiring. But just as it's hard to take certain compliments, to be handed a gift of true, unabashedly pure friendship and care is as beautifully true as a bright white light- but no less difficult to stare directly into. It's hard to admit weakness, fault or mistake, but when you must it's amazing to have a person reach out to you for no other reason than friendship.
One day I hope to repay all those who have shown me no less than the wonders of what human interaction can be.
I don't know if many people know this, but I don't let many people 'in'. I 'learned' at an early age to be guarded. Situations led me to build a wall around myself with those in my life. Besides my family, no one really knew 'me' and I was damn sure not to make myself vulnerable to anyone or show my fears or faults.
Well, life isn't perfect and I am surely not perfect. Situations I created or were created for me from time to time have left me at the mercy of certain people in my life. I say mercy not in a bad light, but in a thankful, alien one. Like I said, I usually don't let many people in, but to be altruistically treated by others leaves me at a loss for what to do or say, besides thank you. When you have nothing to offer in return and still recieve love and kindness, it's inspiring. But just as it's hard to take certain compliments, to be handed a gift of true, unabashedly pure friendship and care is as beautifully true as a bright white light- but no less difficult to stare directly into. It's hard to admit weakness, fault or mistake, but when you must it's amazing to have a person reach out to you for no other reason than friendship.
One day I hope to repay all those who have shown me no less than the wonders of what human interaction can be.