So...
So what's been new with me? Absolutly nothing.. LoL. Apparently i'm a shitty friend tho.. dunno how that works. I'm gettin really annoyed with drama. No matter who i talk to, where i am, there's always a problem. I'm sick of being in the middle of things and having people tell me what i'm thinking, how i'm feeling, or what i've been doing. I think I would know.. i was there. I don't know why things can't just be simple. The only thing i've learned in my 19 years is that people in general are hypocritical and they don't know how to think for themselves. I'm really surprised that the U.S. is still a democracy... the way that people are should have killed us by now and we'd have as much freedom as hungarians. I think one chain of small events that i've seen caused by the people around me has sent me off into thinking that the world can't be much different any where else. I guess i always held hope that my part of the country was either normal or at least better off and that we're some how smarter. But apparently we're not. If people out here can't hold some strand of normalcy i'd hate to see how people act in friggen colorodo or some other under-populated state. Maybe people just think too much about things. Maybe the idea that people need friends is over-rated. I dont know how people can go on without friends... but i'm finding it hard to live my life with them. Once again.. nothing is simple. Things like love and friendship are supposed to be the easiest findings of your life. Instead they make your life complicated, they create hate, and they make you question yourself and your own thoughts. Love and friendship are supposed to be based on emotion and feelings. Maybe that's why nothing can just be fun, because your "heart" fights your head and you end up over-thinking EVERYTHING. Anything and everything that could go wrong. Goes wrong. There's nothing anyone can do about it. My exsistance feels out of my control and I hate it because people think that they know everything. I don't know why people say that they follor their "heart" .. you're heart is an organ.. nothing is attached to it. It is the reason that you are able to live, yes. But nothing that you feel starts there. EVERYTHING is in your head. People are just so fake and needy that they have to assinuate life with love. If you think about it it's really pathetic. Just like "love makes the world go round" this country is so juvinille. We totally have less love than any other country. We kill each other, rob each other, and intentionally hurt each other in any way possible. Until we can get along with each other as a whole hate will be the only thing we have to "make the world turn" ... besides the whole concept of gravity and rotation... I think we should anty up on prison sentences, and learn how to be homo sapiens... instead of just being fuckin stupid and acting all neurotic. Sorry... I'm in a pysological type of mood right now... and that just progressed into a lot of crap that i wasn't even thinking about in the moment. lol. A journalist at "heart" i suppose. <--- haha there it is again. Fuckin A.