well i think my problem has been solved for me.
after 2 years of being in BEFB classes, i have finally learned what supporters of bilingual education actually believe...and what do you know...i ABSOLUTELY dont believe anything they do. I hate my befb class...A) i dont learn a damn thing and B) i cant stand anymore of Acosta...and i have finally figured out why and its becuase of what i just said. I dont believe the same things she does...no wonder i was always struggling to see the point of her ranting and raving because in the back of my mind and somewhere deep down in me i was building a resentment against what shes been teaching and thats because I dont feel the same way. The last time i went into her office, she asked me, "so are you going to be a bilingual teacher or not? its my job to convince you." Well thank you Mrs. Acosta, you have finally convinced me otherwise and for the first time in a couple of months Im going with my gut instinct...i can no longer be a part of the so called "bilingual education" program at A&M. i guess it is fine and wonderful for those who actually believe in it, but it is not for me.
I really think it is my own fault for not realizing it till now. I need to be more versed in the politics surrounding education, i needed to go and seek out exactlly what proponents of bilingual education stood for...but i didnt, so i realized it almost too late. The reason why i dont want to teach in spanish for the rest of my life is a) for the lazy reason, i DONT want to learn spanish like that, and i dont think ill ever be fluent enough to TEACH in it. and b) the REAL reason, is because i DO NOT BELIEVE that these kids need to be taught in spanish, and thats exactlly what bilingual education is (i had this skewed notion that bilingual education is the dual language method ive been seeing i...HA. thats only for children wou are gifted and talented enough to qualify...its not the REAL thing)...they need to be taught in ENGLISH, they need to learn ENGLISH to function in the United States. I know it may not be the most tactful way to say it and by no means do i believe im politically correct in saying this because i know im speaking about the stereotype (but sometimes sterotypes make you realize that there is a REAL and SEVERE problem with the growing majority in our country): but you cant expect to come to the United States, throw your children into school (mind you probably not even paying taxes), expect for those that do pay taxes to fund what is an ENORMOUS amount of time and money on bilingual ed, expect that those teachers will teach your kids all they need to know to pass a million state tests AND teach them english in a short amount of time, NOT give any support at home, NOT even give a flying shit about learning english yourself...and then expect them to live the "normal" life of a person that has grown up here all their life...leeching off people and off the system of this country. I'm sorry, but i dont know where i got to start thinking this, maybe its how ive been raised...but this country should "cater" to NO one. There are PLENTY of people that have struggled and made it...but they STRUGGLED first and they TRIED and they MADE THE EFFORT to become a part of this nation because they saw all the opportunity they had. I'm not saying they should let go of who they are and their cultures but for god's sake dont sit around and do nothing and expect people to help you out. God helps those that help themselves. I feel bad for these children...they dont know any better, they DO have so much potential, but they are consistently being thought of at a lower standard, "oh they cant learn english that fast"..."they need more time"..."they will always be struggling in school because english wasnt their first langugae"...BULLSHIT. These kids CAN learn english, they can grow into wonderful students and contributing members of society...THEY JUST NEED THE SUPPORT, they need someone to CHALLENGE them, they need their FREAKIN PARENTS TO LEARN ENGLISH TOO, they need their parents to be involved and VALUE their education. Our public school system cant do it all and until we start expecting more out of each other and all the people that make our school system what it is, administrators, advocates, teachers, PARENTS, STUDENTS...then we will always be functioning at a lower level than we should be.
So what got me on this. Well theres a new wave of thought going through the public school board in Texas rihgt now...there was actually a conference on it this past friday and Acosta spoke on it today. She read a letter from a guy that is pretty high up somewhere (see what i mean about how i need to be not so ignorant about this stuff) and he is firmly suggesting that we have English immersion classes instead of bilingual education classes in our school. The whole time she read that letter, i was nodding my head, AGREEING with what he was saying and then i realized...i am the only one nodding, i am the only one SUPPORTING this...HOLY SHIT. i need to get out of this class. One girl said, "we do NOT need to be English immersion teachers"...and in my head i was like "NO, WE DO." That is the ONLY way they will learn english faster....they need to be immersed in it. HELL, why do u think it is taking me so long to learn Spanish, because im not IMMERSED in it everyday...why the hell do people go study abroad to learn a language...TO BE IMMERSED IN IT. Why should it be different when these children, that need to learn english the most,are not in the same type of environment. Believe me, i see someone that is bilingual as a head above the rest of us that arent, and i see the value of a child being able to be taught in both languages so they can retain their native language...but NOT at the expense of a child learning english and being able to function in our society. There are trade-offs and i honestly dont think we have found the best one but I certainly DO think that making most of the school day in English for some of these kids is most beneficial. I want to be able to speak spanish to communicate with them in the early stages where they are so lost but eventually they NEED english, they need to be in an environment where, i really feel bad for putting it this way, they are FORCED to speak it, because it is a matter of survival. Its a lot of strain and stress to put on a child but i feel like its necessary. Im going to refer back to my parents...yeah, they were in their 20's when they came here and obviously could handle stress a little better than say a 6 year old...but the concept is still the same...they learned enlish in 6 months because they HAD to, they werent going to get a job or survive if they didnt. And granted, it took a while for them to get used to living here but they did...and i am so proud of my parents because they MADE THE EFFORT, they werent going to just get by, and they certainly believed in doing it on their own, on their own merit. Thats what the parents of these kids need to get in their heads. Parents and teachers are possibly the most influential people in a childs educational life...if one is not there and contributing, a child is getting half of their education...and half isnt going to cut it in the real world.
done and done. off my soapbox now.
with that said. If all goes well and i get everything in line. I will take 6 hours this summer, and 18 next semester to get back into general education with an ESL certification. God help me...it took me this long to figure out what ive known was right for me all along.
I really think it is my own fault for not realizing it till now. I need to be more versed in the politics surrounding education, i needed to go and seek out exactlly what proponents of bilingual education stood for...but i didnt, so i realized it almost too late. The reason why i dont want to teach in spanish for the rest of my life is a) for the lazy reason, i DONT want to learn spanish like that, and i dont think ill ever be fluent enough to TEACH in it. and b) the REAL reason, is because i DO NOT BELIEVE that these kids need to be taught in spanish, and thats exactlly what bilingual education is (i had this skewed notion that bilingual education is the dual language method ive been seeing i...HA. thats only for children wou are gifted and talented enough to qualify...its not the REAL thing)...they need to be taught in ENGLISH, they need to learn ENGLISH to function in the United States. I know it may not be the most tactful way to say it and by no means do i believe im politically correct in saying this because i know im speaking about the stereotype (but sometimes sterotypes make you realize that there is a REAL and SEVERE problem with the growing majority in our country): but you cant expect to come to the United States, throw your children into school (mind you probably not even paying taxes), expect for those that do pay taxes to fund what is an ENORMOUS amount of time and money on bilingual ed, expect that those teachers will teach your kids all they need to know to pass a million state tests AND teach them english in a short amount of time, NOT give any support at home, NOT even give a flying shit about learning english yourself...and then expect them to live the "normal" life of a person that has grown up here all their life...leeching off people and off the system of this country. I'm sorry, but i dont know where i got to start thinking this, maybe its how ive been raised...but this country should "cater" to NO one. There are PLENTY of people that have struggled and made it...but they STRUGGLED first and they TRIED and they MADE THE EFFORT to become a part of this nation because they saw all the opportunity they had. I'm not saying they should let go of who they are and their cultures but for god's sake dont sit around and do nothing and expect people to help you out. God helps those that help themselves. I feel bad for these children...they dont know any better, they DO have so much potential, but they are consistently being thought of at a lower standard, "oh they cant learn english that fast"..."they need more time"..."they will always be struggling in school because english wasnt their first langugae"...BULLSHIT. These kids CAN learn english, they can grow into wonderful students and contributing members of society...THEY JUST NEED THE SUPPORT, they need someone to CHALLENGE them, they need their FREAKIN PARENTS TO LEARN ENGLISH TOO, they need their parents to be involved and VALUE their education. Our public school system cant do it all and until we start expecting more out of each other and all the people that make our school system what it is, administrators, advocates, teachers, PARENTS, STUDENTS...then we will always be functioning at a lower level than we should be.
So what got me on this. Well theres a new wave of thought going through the public school board in Texas rihgt now...there was actually a conference on it this past friday and Acosta spoke on it today. She read a letter from a guy that is pretty high up somewhere (see what i mean about how i need to be not so ignorant about this stuff) and he is firmly suggesting that we have English immersion classes instead of bilingual education classes in our school. The whole time she read that letter, i was nodding my head, AGREEING with what he was saying and then i realized...i am the only one nodding, i am the only one SUPPORTING this...HOLY SHIT. i need to get out of this class. One girl said, "we do NOT need to be English immersion teachers"...and in my head i was like "NO, WE DO." That is the ONLY way they will learn english faster....they need to be immersed in it. HELL, why do u think it is taking me so long to learn Spanish, because im not IMMERSED in it everyday...why the hell do people go study abroad to learn a language...TO BE IMMERSED IN IT. Why should it be different when these children, that need to learn english the most,are not in the same type of environment. Believe me, i see someone that is bilingual as a head above the rest of us that arent, and i see the value of a child being able to be taught in both languages so they can retain their native language...but NOT at the expense of a child learning english and being able to function in our society. There are trade-offs and i honestly dont think we have found the best one but I certainly DO think that making most of the school day in English for some of these kids is most beneficial. I want to be able to speak spanish to communicate with them in the early stages where they are so lost but eventually they NEED english, they need to be in an environment where, i really feel bad for putting it this way, they are FORCED to speak it, because it is a matter of survival. Its a lot of strain and stress to put on a child but i feel like its necessary. Im going to refer back to my parents...yeah, they were in their 20's when they came here and obviously could handle stress a little better than say a 6 year old...but the concept is still the same...they learned enlish in 6 months because they HAD to, they werent going to get a job or survive if they didnt. And granted, it took a while for them to get used to living here but they did...and i am so proud of my parents because they MADE THE EFFORT, they werent going to just get by, and they certainly believed in doing it on their own, on their own merit. Thats what the parents of these kids need to get in their heads. Parents and teachers are possibly the most influential people in a childs educational life...if one is not there and contributing, a child is getting half of their education...and half isnt going to cut it in the real world.
done and done. off my soapbox now.
with that said. If all goes well and i get everything in line. I will take 6 hours this summer, and 18 next semester to get back into general education with an ESL certification. God help me...it took me this long to figure out what ive known was right for me all along.