well i think im okay.
now that i dont think im dying from heart problems...i once again think im going to kill myself because of yet another reading resource binder aka. toolkit. I must admit i have made the best of this thanksgiving break by taking my sweet time to do it in really small chunks...but thats just not cutting it when its due monday. I already got an extension on it (it was due last tuesday) so i cant turn it in even later. I really do hate doing this crap. I sort of feel bad for putting it off till the last minute because now i cant really put the time into it to where i can use it in the future (which is the point of it)...but i mean really? is it necessary to make up 45 activities, writing descriptions and materials needed and all? One of my activities is "reading with a teacher"...whats there to say about that!? you practice reading with a teacher!! This crap is pointless.
Anyways, i really need to get back to college station...as much as i kind of dont want to. Thanksgiving was so relaxing and wonderful...now i gotta get back and finish up the semester. I am really excited to get back and do cochair stuff though =)...its about all thats gonna get me through these two weeks AND that at that all that is stopping me from getting my ring in april is completing these last 15 hours! WHOOP!
I always do this "im thankful for" list at thanksgiving and i didnt do it this year...but i realize that i've pretty much never been this content at thanksgiving...and by never i mean in the last 3 years. There was always something going on that i was upset about or felt like i would be more happy if i had...a lot of empty feelings around this holidy. But in these past few weeks there has been so much that has come to my attention that i should be thankful for. One of them being my own life...being able to breathe, being healthy, being able to experience things because i am healthy...i've tested the waters too much on that issue, i realize that i put my physical life in a lot of danger at times and sometimes i take risks without thinking about the consequences and how they can affect so many parts of my daily life and the opportunities ive been given. Im really glad that ive figured that out now...its true, there is too much to live for to waste it on one stupid decision. One of the best moments of the break, was when me and my sister were hanging out (which was like the entire time) and we were just lauging like we do and i thought about what if i didnt get to come home to see her, what would happen if i just wasnt here this thanksgiving...i know it sounds dramatic but seriously, imagining my sister not having me in her life is crazy...thats not to sound conceited or anything, its just that me and my sister are so close...i cant imagine leaving her. My family is enough of a reason to live even if there was nothing else in my life that made me feel like living. ps. thats not like a suicidal note lol...i just really love my family and i would never want to do anything to hurt them.
Also, im thankful for the ability of forgiveness on my part and on the part of others...just like there so much to be thrown away on making one stupid decision...theres so much that can be thrown away on not making one good one...even in the sanest of intentions, pride gets in the way too many times and makes you relapse into insanity. I'm glad i let my pride down for a bit to make at least one good decision. But as with every second chance, there are a lot more walls to break down, a lot more hesistations, and more doubts. I'm just glad (or i hope) that i have friends that are still willing to prove themselves as good friends even though they dont have to.
okay back to it. after monday night i will be FREEEEE.
Anyways, i really need to get back to college station...as much as i kind of dont want to. Thanksgiving was so relaxing and wonderful...now i gotta get back and finish up the semester. I am really excited to get back and do cochair stuff though =)...its about all thats gonna get me through these two weeks AND that at that all that is stopping me from getting my ring in april is completing these last 15 hours! WHOOP!
I always do this "im thankful for" list at thanksgiving and i didnt do it this year...but i realize that i've pretty much never been this content at thanksgiving...and by never i mean in the last 3 years. There was always something going on that i was upset about or felt like i would be more happy if i had...a lot of empty feelings around this holidy. But in these past few weeks there has been so much that has come to my attention that i should be thankful for. One of them being my own life...being able to breathe, being healthy, being able to experience things because i am healthy...i've tested the waters too much on that issue, i realize that i put my physical life in a lot of danger at times and sometimes i take risks without thinking about the consequences and how they can affect so many parts of my daily life and the opportunities ive been given. Im really glad that ive figured that out now...its true, there is too much to live for to waste it on one stupid decision. One of the best moments of the break, was when me and my sister were hanging out (which was like the entire time) and we were just lauging like we do and i thought about what if i didnt get to come home to see her, what would happen if i just wasnt here this thanksgiving...i know it sounds dramatic but seriously, imagining my sister not having me in her life is crazy...thats not to sound conceited or anything, its just that me and my sister are so close...i cant imagine leaving her. My family is enough of a reason to live even if there was nothing else in my life that made me feel like living. ps. thats not like a suicidal note lol...i just really love my family and i would never want to do anything to hurt them.
Also, im thankful for the ability of forgiveness on my part and on the part of others...just like there so much to be thrown away on making one stupid decision...theres so much that can be thrown away on not making one good one...even in the sanest of intentions, pride gets in the way too many times and makes you relapse into insanity. I'm glad i let my pride down for a bit to make at least one good decision. But as with every second chance, there are a lot more walls to break down, a lot more hesistations, and more doubts. I'm just glad (or i hope) that i have friends that are still willing to prove themselves as good friends even though they dont have to.
okay back to it. after monday night i will be FREEEEE.