i asked for one tic-tac, and you gave me eleven.
I had a good last weekend as a bum. I hung out with Kesley all weekend, not like that's a change. I feel pretty good i would say., apparently everything going on with my body is normal..... that is the greatest thing i have ever heard. So the way i see it, maybe i was having nightmares because of the stress it was bringing. School starts tomorrow. I don't know how i feel about that. At least i don't have to listen to everyone on the face of the earth bitch at me because I'm not in school. Apparently all my professors are insane and tough....yay. I think taking the semester off might have benefited me. I have a new found appreciation for school work, just so i dont have to be so bored all the time. Maybe im just saying this now because i don't have any school work yet....We'll see how i feel tomorrow. I really am going to try to not be so lazy. I saw Joanna today, she looked great again. It was terrible being at her house the other day...being in her room, being back inside the only other place on earth that i had called my home. No one on this earth has the amount of memories that i have in her house and in her room. It was really hard being there, i miss her, i really do. I'm proud of the progress that she's made. In a way it still doesn't feel real. And i still hate myself everyday for letting myself do that to her. Despite what anyone may say, i will forever feel like a bad person. It's funny though. How do you call yourself a good person? What do you have to do to say you are a good person? What gives you the right to say that? I don't know. If i am not a good person for what happened between us...i hope i am at least proving how much i care about her. I'm trying, i really am. So i got a dress for the VMI formal. I love it, i'm reallllly excited, i hope bry is too. My parents were great and paid for it also, they really are amazing sometimes. I kinda feel like just doing nothing all night. I still don't feel so good, im actually beginning to think im never going to feel better. I just wanna hang out and talk to Bryan. I really miss him, i mean its getting better....it's much better then it was last week. It still hurts though, im pretty sure even when i get used to it it's going to hurt. I just love him too much. Thats my problem. I don't think i have anything else to say. I also dont think that i am going to be updating this often because of the massive amouts of homework rate my professor says i will have. Joyful, let the games begin.