aunt

Feb 08, 2006 18:00

What a week...wow i cant believe everything thats happend this week. I couldnt feel worse for Stacey, i really couldnt. However ive loved spending as much time with James as i did this week. I love being an Aunt and i love how no matter whos holding him he puts his arms out for me, and wants me to hold him. i love how he runs to me first to play. Its great how i know everything about him, his favorite food,toy,song,tv show.Hes 19 months old, and absolutly perfect. Its the best feeling in the world knowing that he loves me, and always wants to be around me. Ive never loved anyone or anything the way i love James, i could watch him for hours and hours and never get the least bit bored. His smile and laugh just melts me inside, and i would do anything for that little boy,anything.i love stacey too, its weird how when she first started dating chris i hated her. i wanted him to break up with her so badly, and now shes the best. Stace started crying when she said thank you to me for everything i did this past week, it was all worth it though, every day i missed school...everytime i slept on the couch and was woken up by the baby at 3 am. Anything to help her out. I cant imagine losing my father at 20 something years old. At the church today i was holding James putting his jacket on while they were wheeling out the casket, when i put him down he started crying cause he couldnt see the casket.When i got his jacket on and picked him up my mom said "James its time to go bye bye"....James looked at the casket and waved bye to his grandfather...and my heart broke. Sure he is only one...but that baby knew things were different...he hasnt been himself the past few days. After the funeral when we got back to the house i felt weird calling my dad grandpa to James, i dont know why. I guess because i didnt wanna upset stacey by calling my dad that. At least ray got to see a year of his life, we never even though he was gunna live to see Chris and Stace get married. i love my brother more then anything, ive always looked up to him. always cherished every moment and converstation we had together, just because he was chris. James looks at his dad the way i do....hes James hero, just like hes mine. James and I have something in commen when it comes to Chris, he cant do any wrong in our eyes. I love seeing Chris and James together....its amazing how a baby can bring such joy to so many people. im so happy i have a family like mine. so happy that my parents are still together, im the only one out of my friends that parents are still together. and i love that, and i will never take that for granted.
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