East Coast Adventures!
Dear LJ, (I'm not sure anyone will read this)
I'm on a giant family reunion for 8 days with my dad's half of the family from NY and I'm climbing the walls. We're in the Poconos in Pennsylvania at some silly resort with my dad's two brothers plus thier families and my dad's mother and her fiance of like 8 years (sounds gross, but Hank's alright by me). My cousins are... well-meaning. Everyone under 35 here: Me 18, Hayden 11, Felicia 10, Cassie 9, Micheal 8, Connor 6, and Tyler 2. Anyone notice a giant age gap?? Take into consideration the amount of maturing that goes on between 11 and 18. Naturally all activities are catered for the younger crowd and the 'fun' ends up exquisitely boring. My aunts keep putting me on babysitting duty on MY vacation because I'm old enough to be 'adult' but not old enough to drink myself into a happy stupor which is a damned shame. My vacation would definitely pick up with an alcohol-induced haze. It doesn't help that my wine snob Uncle Tom keeps offering. I've just ended up doing a lot of swimming to keep busy and maybe to work on my tan/burn. There are indoor and outdoor pools and a hot tub plus a sauna that's hidden through like 4 doors in the women's bathroom. Sneaky little devils!
I'm also mopey because I haven't heard from Brett in about a week. He's in England hanging out with His cousins and apparently doesn't have internet access, although he brought his laptop and a/c adaptor and he wrote to me all of the first week while he was in Norway...and.... I feel semi-ridiculous, but I can't help the whinyness. I'm sorry, this is me. I'm not too proud of it. He's on a three week vacation and my weeklong vacation is in the middle of it and we haven't been apart for more than a week since we started dating last october. But I'm strong and I don't depend on anyone!!! Of course.. yeah. I used to be. Now I kinda cohabitate and it works out when Someone doesn't suddenly cut off my crack-junkie-supply of contact. Whatever. The back of my mind keeps whispering that this is just a warm-up for college. Jesus Christ, if only I'd never met Brett A. Volz and if only I could bear to cut it off. I would be able to simplify ME so much! I've become complicated and I don't like that too much either.
So yeah, I've become my own best friend lately. Not too much girl time spent this summer between work and Bretting it and other people's vacations. That and my Active FRIENDS are a dying (or extinct) breed, apparently. I'm really not loved. It started out with possessive friends that eliminated other groups of friends that I had starting in 8th grade-ish and my self-proclaimed closest friends have been eliminating my other groups of friends ever since. The shrinking pool syndrom. Now there's no one left at all because it appears the self-selected best friends have moved on from me this summer. I did have a fabulous DDRlicious time with Francis and Paul and go to a couple of Eleanor's bashes and an excellent Amelia sleepover, but I'm shadow of my former social butterfly self. I guess college is just around the corner and bursting with the promise of friendship and entertainment. I completely intend on starting anew and maybe make a mark. High school sucked, college naturally will be Fabulous! This limbo land of summer is killing me and giving me way too much time for thought and self-analysis. I'm not liking what I've found. I wish UCfreakingSB would start already! *Impatient*
And also I wish this family reunion would END! It was designed by nazis for maximum torturous possibility. I'm kind of pissy because I've gone through the two most interesting books that I brought since last Friday when we arrived in NY. One was 989 pages in tiny font and it was supposed to last me forever!!! >:-( The resort's gift shop doesn't have a single book unless their $21.95 All Poconos Activity Guide thing counts. Which it doesn't. At least I have internet access. At least I have internet access. At least I have internet access. But what good is it if the only emails I receive are from Fastweb.com?
//Refuses to beg any friend still reading my LJ (which, according to my current depressed-lonely-pessimistic-friendless predictions, would probably mean no one) for peer contact.// I do have my dignity.
So, to recap:
1. Impatient for college to start
2. Missing Brett
3. Need more interesting and accessible books.
4. (Maybe in need of a friend.)
PS. Thank you so much, Aja, for reminding me of the Rent "Will I?" song. I love that song and it touches a chord within me.
Shh! Don't laugh at me! I went running down the 8 flights of stairs of the resort place while belting it out. (Dignity, my rear!)