Green shoots
Aloha!
So, even though I haven’t updated in donkeys years, there really isn’t that much to tell. I need to create some drama in my life that will give me inspiration to write, but currently everything is just pootling along.
I have finished my first year of my degree in English & Creative Writing, and when I got my final lot of essays back I scored a 70% in my Modernism, which is a 1st! Yay me. The rest have mostly been 2:1’s (60-65%) with a couple below 60% earning me 2:2’s - they were both in Language, big surprise. I see language as the science side of English, and I really struggle with it. No matter, I don’t have to take it again, PHEW!
Jake and I are fast approaching our 2-year anniversary - it’s the 21st of July. He has always said once he gets me past that hurdle I’m his for keeps. I broke up with Tom about two months before we made it, and I left Southport (and Matt) the day before our anniversary (though technically we had been broken up for almost a month). So, we’re nearly there, and it’s been a rocky road, but we’re still travelling it together, and we’re still happy. Its peaks a troughs - sometimes its butterflies and rainbows, and sometimes its turds and vomit. You have to just know that you’ll make it work because you want it to. Sometimes when you hit a low point there really isn’t anything you can o to fix it, it’s chemical, and you just aren’t fitting right together for a while. Then you wake up, and instead of every noise you hear from your partner setting your teeth on edge, everything they do makes you smile again. When things are shit between us we just talk talk talk talk and if we can’t change it, we just wait it out. I think we’ve grown so much over the last six months, and though they haven’t been our happiest times together, they may just have been some of the most strengthening and beneficial.
The change of the season is here, and with it, for me, comes a lot of introspection and wondering. Am I were I wanted to be a year ago? Yes I think so. Am I who I want to be? Hmm, no I doubt it, but I am who I am, and I have to put up with it. So does Jake, *snicker*.
I start a new temp job tomorrow, thankfully because I haven’t had work for 7 weekdays now and I’m getting antsy about money.
We’re going back to London for the weekend on Friday and I can’t wait to see my cat (oh yeah, and my family :p). It’s going to be busy - we have a party on Friday night, which should be fun, and then visiting a friend on Sunday before we go home on the train. Hopefully we wont be too hung over and we can get up early to get over to hers. Then back to work on Monday morning. Being a student, I’m trying to enjoy the only time for the next 35+ years where I wont have to work a 9-5 job constantly and live for the weekends, but during the holiday when I have to do so I am reminded of the future that looms for me, and it terrifies and disturbs me. Is that really living? I want to run away from it and live in a commune, grow my own food, hand-wash my clothes and spend time actually living. Breathing in air not A/C for 8 hours a day. Maybe those crazy American cults have it right, ok so you all have to marry the same ugly bloke to do it, but there are sacrifices in everything right? ;)
Don’t worry, I’m not actually considering joining a cult, I’m just dissatisfied with the future that’s been eyeing me up all my life.
Right, I’m going to Egypt. I have a scion to track down, some mummies to kill and some machine guns to track down before Jake gets home.
Jessie
xxx
So, even though I haven’t updated in donkeys years, there really isn’t that much to tell. I need to create some drama in my life that will give me inspiration to write, but currently everything is just pootling along.
I have finished my first year of my degree in English & Creative Writing, and when I got my final lot of essays back I scored a 70% in my Modernism, which is a 1st! Yay me. The rest have mostly been 2:1’s (60-65%) with a couple below 60% earning me 2:2’s - they were both in Language, big surprise. I see language as the science side of English, and I really struggle with it. No matter, I don’t have to take it again, PHEW!
Jake and I are fast approaching our 2-year anniversary - it’s the 21st of July. He has always said once he gets me past that hurdle I’m his for keeps. I broke up with Tom about two months before we made it, and I left Southport (and Matt) the day before our anniversary (though technically we had been broken up for almost a month). So, we’re nearly there, and it’s been a rocky road, but we’re still travelling it together, and we’re still happy. Its peaks a troughs - sometimes its butterflies and rainbows, and sometimes its turds and vomit. You have to just know that you’ll make it work because you want it to. Sometimes when you hit a low point there really isn’t anything you can o to fix it, it’s chemical, and you just aren’t fitting right together for a while. Then you wake up, and instead of every noise you hear from your partner setting your teeth on edge, everything they do makes you smile again. When things are shit between us we just talk talk talk talk and if we can’t change it, we just wait it out. I think we’ve grown so much over the last six months, and though they haven’t been our happiest times together, they may just have been some of the most strengthening and beneficial.
The change of the season is here, and with it, for me, comes a lot of introspection and wondering. Am I were I wanted to be a year ago? Yes I think so. Am I who I want to be? Hmm, no I doubt it, but I am who I am, and I have to put up with it. So does Jake, *snicker*.
I start a new temp job tomorrow, thankfully because I haven’t had work for 7 weekdays now and I’m getting antsy about money.
We’re going back to London for the weekend on Friday and I can’t wait to see my cat (oh yeah, and my family :p). It’s going to be busy - we have a party on Friday night, which should be fun, and then visiting a friend on Sunday before we go home on the train. Hopefully we wont be too hung over and we can get up early to get over to hers. Then back to work on Monday morning. Being a student, I’m trying to enjoy the only time for the next 35+ years where I wont have to work a 9-5 job constantly and live for the weekends, but during the holiday when I have to do so I am reminded of the future that looms for me, and it terrifies and disturbs me. Is that really living? I want to run away from it and live in a commune, grow my own food, hand-wash my clothes and spend time actually living. Breathing in air not A/C for 8 hours a day. Maybe those crazy American cults have it right, ok so you all have to marry the same ugly bloke to do it, but there are sacrifices in everything right? ;)
Don’t worry, I’m not actually considering joining a cult, I’m just dissatisfied with the future that’s been eyeing me up all my life.
Right, I’m going to Egypt. I have a scion to track down, some mummies to kill and some machine guns to track down before Jake gets home.
Jessie
xxx