Party's Over.
So.. I'm completely done with a certain segment in my life. I've decided that I'm no longer the innocent girl that everyone thinks I am. I don't know if I'm sick of being that innocent girl... or what.. It never really seemed to bother me, cause when I'd say something along the lines of sex or alocohol, people would be astonished that Jess isn't completely, spot-free as innocent as everyone thinks she is. I like being innocent. I hate change. Some of the things I've done recently makes me wish that I was that innocent high school girl again.
My first problem is that I can't lie. I tell my mom everything. The majority of the time she doesn't even ask what time I will be home, or what I did that night, just as long as I was safe. If I drank, I tell her... even though she didn't ask. (She gets mad of course). When I had sex and lost my virginity in January, I told her because she wanted to know why I was so upset about the break up. Well, tonight I was at a party... I didn't drink because I was the designated driver. However... I smoked three cigerettes... and I have never smoked before. I want to tell my mom. I really want to. However, I hear my dad coughing like he's going to die any mintue EVERY night and my granny (my mom's grandma) died from smoking. So... I don't know. I'm not addicted, I don't plan on ever doing it again, and if I ever do end pu doing it, it's going to be just a "smoke when I drink" situation. I don't know.
When I was 'innocent' things weren't so complicated...
My first problem is that I can't lie. I tell my mom everything. The majority of the time she doesn't even ask what time I will be home, or what I did that night, just as long as I was safe. If I drank, I tell her... even though she didn't ask. (She gets mad of course). When I had sex and lost my virginity in January, I told her because she wanted to know why I was so upset about the break up. Well, tonight I was at a party... I didn't drink because I was the designated driver. However... I smoked three cigerettes... and I have never smoked before. I want to tell my mom. I really want to. However, I hear my dad coughing like he's going to die any mintue EVERY night and my granny (my mom's grandma) died from smoking. So... I don't know. I'm not addicted, I don't plan on ever doing it again, and if I ever do end pu doing it, it's going to be just a "smoke when I drink" situation. I don't know.
When I was 'innocent' things weren't so complicated...