(no subject)
so he takes the day off work cause he is worried about me. but does he do anything? no. the house is still trashed. and because he didnt organise himself properly he has just lkeft to go to his doctors appointment at the time of ultimate kaos in this house - between 4 and 5:30. so i have to feed al the kids, bath and get the babies ready for bed ect. but of course i cant bath the bubbas before he gets home, cause we only have 1 nappy left and 2 babies. why? becuase he didnt organise to go get nappies before hand. so tell me what is the fucking point of him staying home from work? oh i get it - to get us into even more finacial shit by loosing a days worth of pay and possibly risking his job. brilliant.
you know even if i had the money to go away somewhere by myself i couldnt.because ryan doesnt wake up when the babies cry. he doesnt hear them. and not just that e thinks its ok to leave the house like a pigsty. wonderful suzi made a comment about leaving it til it gets bad enough for him to clean - welll that will never happen. i couldnt imagione letting my kids live in squalor like that again.
i remember 2 years ago when i had just gottne out of hospital (mental health) and ryan informed me i would not be getting chels and maddy back. even though i was living with my mum. apparently they were better off with him. they were always in dirty clothes, he never brushed their long beautiful hair. the house was filthy. not just messy, but DIRTY. the dishes hadnt been done in weeks. the house smelt and he very rarely changed nappies. and this was them better off? so no i cant leave it til it gets that bad for him to do. we are like the only house in melbourne that has cockroahces cause they hitchhiked with our stuff from coffs. they are in our electricals, and cause we hate the cold the house is warm enbough for them to stay. i try to keep the house clean so they will piss off, but i have no help with that. he will make toast and leave crumbs all over the benches, nice bite sized cockroach food. and now a freakin mouse!!!!
myabe its time to just bite the bullet and leave. but i know i just dont have the strength to do it. i knever do. do you know how hard it is to know the only reason we ever got back together was the fact that i was pregnant? he denies it...but he refused to take me back after i got out of hospital. i wanted to work on the marriage or make a clean break. he couldnt make up his mind so he refused to give me a divorce, but he also refused to go to concelling. i had to sit there and wait for him to make up his mind. but then we found out i was pregnant. 2 weeks later we were back together.
jess
you know even if i had the money to go away somewhere by myself i couldnt.because ryan doesnt wake up when the babies cry. he doesnt hear them. and not just that e thinks its ok to leave the house like a pigsty. wonderful suzi made a comment about leaving it til it gets bad enough for him to clean - welll that will never happen. i couldnt imagione letting my kids live in squalor like that again.
i remember 2 years ago when i had just gottne out of hospital (mental health) and ryan informed me i would not be getting chels and maddy back. even though i was living with my mum. apparently they were better off with him. they were always in dirty clothes, he never brushed their long beautiful hair. the house was filthy. not just messy, but DIRTY. the dishes hadnt been done in weeks. the house smelt and he very rarely changed nappies. and this was them better off? so no i cant leave it til it gets that bad for him to do. we are like the only house in melbourne that has cockroahces cause they hitchhiked with our stuff from coffs. they are in our electricals, and cause we hate the cold the house is warm enbough for them to stay. i try to keep the house clean so they will piss off, but i have no help with that. he will make toast and leave crumbs all over the benches, nice bite sized cockroach food. and now a freakin mouse!!!!
myabe its time to just bite the bullet and leave. but i know i just dont have the strength to do it. i knever do. do you know how hard it is to know the only reason we ever got back together was the fact that i was pregnant? he denies it...but he refused to take me back after i got out of hospital. i wanted to work on the marriage or make a clean break. he couldnt make up his mind so he refused to give me a divorce, but he also refused to go to concelling. i had to sit there and wait for him to make up his mind. but then we found out i was pregnant. 2 weeks later we were back together.
jess