rahhhhh! random!
ok now this is getting beyond a joke! how many days left till the end of the month? 6 i think :s!...and erm whats up with me dancing around being happy and then just bursting into tears and not being able to stop the getting up and dancing again? the same thing happened last week as well. i was on my computer and then i just burst into tears :s... and when i got home from college i just started crying :(...er fuck knows. strange? yes! i think so too! hehe! work tonight WOOP!...yay and me and skippy will rock tonight :D! God i feel awful :(...my head hurts and i feel a little sick again! i wonder if something is going around...coz leanne felt light headed and dizzy the other day and so did jamie...now i feel like that...only it happened yesterday and the day before...maybe im dying :(! stupid Mike Binner's Lesson! its doing my head in *sulks* im not passing his unit like :s...stupid idiot! and he wont let me go get something to eat! im starving!
hehe check me out ranting about mike's lesson ^_^...i need a cuddle :( i havent had human contact in a few weeks like...errrr disgrace! maybe skippy will give me a hug tonight :)...hmm cuddling :D...think im seeing simon today for little bit :s...to talk... about what im not exactly sure...i think i made myself clear last night....i said everything is getting to me! and im sick of everything! sick of being treated like an outcast, sick of being treated like shit, im sick of working, im sick of some people...mum and dad sometimes! sick of some of my mates! and lately im getting sick of josh! i know he means well and everything and he thinks im great! but im not great! i am totally flawed! i cant fix whats wrong with me and i dont know how he expects to fix it....why am i shutting myself down from being close to anyone else...heh maybe its because i was screwed over in the two relationships that meant the most to me...im having a bad time but not really...i dont need to show how i really feel but honesty is the best policy right? well thats my new motto...be honest...stop hiding and fearing how you feel! so thats what i did last night...and this morning...i dont want sex...and i dont want to be touched by men! except for my dad when i hug him...sometimes he irritates me but i have no idea what i would do without him...he is the only man in my life right now and i like it that way :)
Anyway finally time to go eat WOOP! so LATER ^_^
nell xxx
hehe check me out ranting about mike's lesson ^_^...i need a cuddle :( i havent had human contact in a few weeks like...errrr disgrace! maybe skippy will give me a hug tonight :)...hmm cuddling :D...think im seeing simon today for little bit :s...to talk... about what im not exactly sure...i think i made myself clear last night....i said everything is getting to me! and im sick of everything! sick of being treated like an outcast, sick of being treated like shit, im sick of working, im sick of some people...mum and dad sometimes! sick of some of my mates! and lately im getting sick of josh! i know he means well and everything and he thinks im great! but im not great! i am totally flawed! i cant fix whats wrong with me and i dont know how he expects to fix it....why am i shutting myself down from being close to anyone else...heh maybe its because i was screwed over in the two relationships that meant the most to me...im having a bad time but not really...i dont need to show how i really feel but honesty is the best policy right? well thats my new motto...be honest...stop hiding and fearing how you feel! so thats what i did last night...and this morning...i dont want sex...and i dont want to be touched by men! except for my dad when i hug him...sometimes he irritates me but i have no idea what i would do without him...he is the only man in my life right now and i like it that way :)
Anyway finally time to go eat WOOP! so LATER ^_^
nell xxx