why cant i see what you see.....
i think when you realize that the person you hate the most is yourself, you pretty much have hit rock bottom. And unfortunately, there is no way up.
Rock bottom to me means, the realization that my life is so horrible because nothing i ever good enough, for me. I think everyone knows i am my harshest critic. This isn't just some emo cry bullshit thing. this is me, realizing my self loathing has just become to great to ever change. i cant remember one time i actually said thank you to a compliment, because i just dint see it...i don't see it. how can they think I'm so great, when i really know the truth.
i love everyone except myself. i would do anything for someone, especially someone close to me...but i don't think i deserve the same consideration, i hate it when people think i say these things to get praise, like "oh but your so awesome"....i know you think that, i justdont think you really know what your talking about...im a horrible person...at least to me, im the scum of the earth.
i know what people see when they look at me...oh theres that fat girl..!!!!!!!! not even giving me a second chance to redem myself.
feeling a hate that burns inside